Friday, January 10, 2014

No words for goodbye

Last night, sometime close to midnight, my friend KB died. She was 51 years old and had been married to the love of her life for 6 months. She leaves behind two of the greatest kids who are too young to be without a mom and two great step-kids who just got to know her.

KB on the boat tour
That smile
She was my friend.

We met because our dogs decided to be best friends. Dezi (my dog) and Lexi (KB's dog) tore down the fence between my parent's house and KB's house so they could play. I knew Lexi for many months before I met KB. But Lexi introduced us.

One day while playing fetch with the dogs, Lexi jumped up and ate the necklace right off my neck. It was the one my mother gave me when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so it was pretty important to me. KB answered the door wearing only a towel. We spent the next week bonding while sifting poop for signs of silver.  We were fast friends from that point on.

Dog poop mining will do that.

KB had a rough go of things in life, but never failed to be the happiest, most positive person I'd ever met. Her mother had died when she was young. Her brother had followed suit shortly after with Lukemia. KB got married and then separated with two small children - a toddler and a new baby. She raised them single handedly for nearly 20 years.

KB did what only KB could do - she enjoyed every moment of life knowing how short it could be. She was careful with money because she had to be, but she gave everything she could for her children. She spent time with them, she laughed with them, she was their friend and their parent and their champion. She didn't care if the house was clean as long as she was with her kids.

KB

She made use of every second.

KB was the strangest woman I have ever met. She was weird and eccentric and never apologized for it once. She liked what she liked, she was what she was, and she let it be known. KB gave me the courage to be ridiculous and nerdy and to admit to having dreams that weren't sensible.

KB was an archivist in her day job, but her passions were baking and writing.  She encouraged me to write and we spent hours talking about plots and characters and our plans to be famous authors. We planned to write a piece of our novels every Friday until they were done.

She baked bread every Saturday for years and sold it so she would have enough money to make it through the month. She was amazing at it and was everyone's go to baker for every occasion.  She even made my wedding cake (one of the most gorgeous things ever) but the stress of it was too much for her and she refused to do it again until her own wedding.

After over a decade of being single, KB met the love of her life. She knew instantly he was the one for her. Fate took a little while for them to get together, but they did and it has been amazing to watch. After years of being alone, she had found her other half. Her centre. She was never so happy as the time she spent with Chris. She beamed and the joy was contagious. A year and a half of the KB who was always meant to be.

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Her happiest day
photo via Wynn Anne 
Yesterday, KB went into the hospital for extreme stomach pain. After hours of tests, they found nothing useful. A CT scan was needed. It was all very routine. She was injected with an iodine solution and things went badly. It appeared to be an allergic reaction that shut down her organs.

Within a few hours, a woman who had more life than anyone I know was gone.

And we are left.

I will miss you, KB. You were sunshine in the rain -- even when the cloud was right over your head. You have been my friend, my cheering squad, my sounding board, my prayer partner. You gave everyone everything at anytime they needed it and I am honoured you came into my life.

32 comments:

  1. I am so, so sorry. I'll be sending as much light as possible in your direction - and to all her family and friends.

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    1. Thanks Violet. We need the light. She was so bright.

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  2. All day, I've been thinking about those rascally dogs breaking down the fence and making you friends.

    Hugs all around, to you and Wynn Anne, and the rest of the friends and family.

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    1. I loved that fence. Then we built them a door when we had to rebuild the fence. Dumb mutts.

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  3. Wow. An allergic reaction. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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  4. That is so sudden and so sad. I am sorry that you lost such a good person, and that her family did, too. I wish words could cover it.

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    1. Thank you. There are no words for this pain.

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  5. Bron, this was perfect. I too thought a lot about those two dogs and that rotten old fence. I will never understand why she couldn't have been happy for the next 45 years!

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    1. Thanks Dad. I think she tried to get 45 years of happiness into all the time she had.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person and friend.

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    1. Thank you, Nadine. She was one of a kind.

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  7. I'm so sorry, Bronwyn. I can't imagine how you and her family are feeling right now. She sounds like she was a beautiful and wonderful woman.

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    1. Thanks, Tara. I was lucky to have her in my life. We are all getting through any way we can.

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  8. Bronwyn thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I only knew my sister as my sister; it's awesome to see these other sides of her.

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. It was all I could do. She was so special.

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  9. What a beautiful tribute. Your words have me crying. How lucky you both were to have met. ..... Kathy Tomanec, friend of KB's sister

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    1. Thank you, Kathy. God knew exactly what we needed. She helped me through so much and vice versa. We are going to miss her greatly.

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  10. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my aunt who was more like an older sister a few years ago who was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. She was very young in her early 40's and although she was battling cancer she had just found out about it and her life was taken way too fast. I still think about her and how unfair life is. The only thing that I can do now is make sure that my children and the younger generations know what a truly remarkable woman she was.

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    1. Life truly is unfair. I am grateful KB showed me how beautiful it can be despite that. I'm sorry for the loss of your aunt. It never is easy, but something like that is especially hard.

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  11. So sudden and so sad. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  12. Oh my goodness, so sudden :( You paint a wonderful picture of the women, mother, wife and friend that she was; it's obvious how deeply she will be missed. Definitely in my thoughts today.

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    1. Tia, I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts. She was amazing.

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss and her family's loss. Take comfort in the memories that you cherish.

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  14. I am so sorry... I know there are no words to take this pain away or bring KB back, but the words you have written I'm sure have placed a smile on KB's face as she looks down on you... <3

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  15. What a beautiful and heartbreaking post. I am so sorry you all lost such a special person. Life is precious, and it sounds like KB knew that very well. I hope you can find some comfort in the beautiful memories you had together.

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    1. Thanks, Dani. The beauty KB showed was something I will always be grateful for.

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