I thought I would do a little compilation post. Over the years, I have collected quite a lot of material from conversations between The Guy and I. They amuse me to no end, so I thought you might enjoy them.
Sept 1, 2007
Tonight, The Guy and I went to watch his friends paddle at the Dragon Boat races. As we were walking from the car to the lake, I suddenly gasped in excitement.
Without turning to look at what I had seen, The Guy says "Yes, they have mini donuts".
Nov 17, 2007
The Guy and I went out with my family for supper. As we are sitting at the table enjoying our food, I looked up to see a bizarre couple at a table across the room. Both were in their late 50s. She had high teased hair, copious neck wrinkles, and a tiny tank top which barely held her in. He had a black silk shirt open midway down his chest, a long pony tail and a handle-bar mustache.
I gasped and turned to The Guy. Without looking up, he said, "I saw them. I'm going to start growing a mustache tomorrow."
May 1, 2008
The other night, The Guy and I were hanging out at his place watching a movie. I was fiddling with a tag on the couch and accidentally ripped it off. I held it in my hand for awhile, playing with the material worn soft by time and many butts and contemplated what I would do with it. I pondered it and rolled it in my fingers and got an idea. A devious idea.
Without turning to look at me, The Guy said, "You're going to put that up my nose, aren't you?"
Dec 7, 2008
The Guy: He was probably just legit-ing. He legit-ed all over the place.
Me: Legit is used as a verb in this case?
The Guy: Sure, legit can be a verb or a noun. Really, it's a state of mind.
Feb 12, 2009
I got an email from The Guy.
The subject read: I got your wedding ring today
I got very excited. Then I opened the email and it read:
But I pawned it for blow.
Aug 11, 2009
My new health card came in the mail. Along with it came a new organ donor card. I filled it out and left it on the counter for The Guy to sign as a witness. He came home and I told him there it was there to sign.
The Guy: What is it?
Me: My new organ donor card. You know that when I die, I want my organs donated.
The Guy: No way.
The Guy: I was planning on harvesting them myself and selling to the highest bidder.
Oct 14, 2010
I turned to The Guy and said "Can we have a Tea Cup pig?"
He grinned and replied "Mmmm. Tea Cup bacon. So tiny, yet so delicious."