Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Our relationship: A tale of sarcasm and wit

I thought I would do a little compilation post. Over the years, I have collected quite a lot of material from conversations between The Guy and I. They amuse me to no end, so I thought you might enjoy them. 

Sept 1, 2007
Tonight, The Guy and I went to watch his friends paddle at the Dragon Boat races. As we were walking from the car to the lake, I suddenly gasped in excitement.

Without turning to look at what I had seen, The Guy says "Yes, they have mini donuts".

Nov 17, 2007

The Guy and I went out with my family for supper. As we are sitting at the table enjoying our food, I looked up to see a bizarre couple at a table across the room. Both were in their late 50s. She had high teased hair, copious neck wrinkles, and a tiny tank top which barely held her in. He had a black silk shirt open midway down his chest, a long pony tail and a handle-bar mustache.

I gasped and turned to The Guy. Without looking up, he said, "I saw them. I'm going to start growing a mustache tomorrow."

May 1, 2008

The other night, The Guy and I were hanging out at his place watching a movie. I was fiddling with a tag on the couch and accidentally ripped it off. I held it in my hand for awhile, playing with the material worn soft by time and many butts and contemplated what I would do with it. I pondered it and rolled it in my fingers and got an idea. A devious idea.

Without turning to look at me, The Guy said, "You're going to put that up my nose, aren't you?"

Dec 7, 2008

The Guy: He was probably just legit-ing. He legit-ed all over the place.
Me: Legit is used as a verb in this case?
The Guy: Sure, legit can be a verb or a noun. Really, it's a state of mind.


Feb 12, 2009

I got an email from The Guy.
The subject read: I got your wedding ring today
I got very excited. Then I opened the email and it read:
But I pawned it for blow.


Aug 11, 2009

My new health card came in the mail. Along with it came a new organ donor card. I filled it out and left it on the counter for The Guy to sign as a witness. He came home and I told him there it was there to sign.

The Guy: What is it?
Me: My new organ donor card. You know that when I die, I want my organs donated.
The Guy: No way.
Me: What?
The Guy: I was planning on harvesting them myself and selling to the highest bidder.




Oct 14, 2010

I turned to The Guy and said "Can we have a Tea Cup pig?"
He grinned and replied "Mmmm. Tea Cup bacon. So tiny, yet so delicious."


14 comments:

  1. These are great! (The last one sounds like something my husband would say to me.)

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  2. I knew you two were meant for each other, I had no idea how well suited you actually are, until now! Love these stories they are priceless!

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    1. Carol, he really is well suited to me. He's a gem.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks, Janet. He's a hoot. I heart him.

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  4. HAHA this is priceless. that's so clever of you to write down the conversations!

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    1. I always write them down, Raine. I feel the need to share his hilarity with the world.

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  5. He certainly had you cased from day 1.

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    1. He really did, Dad. He still is one step ahead of me.

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  6. Love it. :) Some parts of this remind me of my husband and I.

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    Replies
    1. That's awesome, Yvonne. It makes for a lot of fun!

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  7. Replies
    1. Of course, Amy! We're taking applications.

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As much as I like to hear myself talk, I like to hear from you too!