Itsh nisch to meetsh you

I have had pretty good luck with my teeth over the years. Apart from at least one cavity every year since I was betoothed, I have had great teeth. Straight, relatively clean, sharp, usable teeth. I was one of the lucky ones who never needed braces or elastics, retainers or head gear.

Source of these teeth

Since I've become an adult, one problem has arisen. I grind my teeth. Every night, I work at making my teeth into tiny stumps of ineffectual calcium. I grind and clench and squeak my teeth together.  This causes headaches, neck aches, migraines, and jaw pain. The muscles in my jaw are so tight they have relaxed exactly 3 times in the last 10 or so years.

Now, I have no idea if I've always been a clencher/grinder or if it is a relatively new phenomenon. All I know is I have woken not only myself, but other people from down the hall up with my teeth. Maybe I've been doing this all my life, or maybe it's a newly acquired habit, but all I could say is it needed to quit.

First, I was given a night guard by one very lovely dentist who held my hand and assured me everything would be fine. I chewed through the guard in less than 6 months. I got another one made of tougher material. Thankfully, it lasted a lot longer, but I also got married and forgot to put it in some nights.  Night guards are not sexy.  You've seen the scene from Date Night, right?

I've been to physiotherapy. I've had acupuncture. I've been referred to get Botox to freeze my muscles into relaxation.  (I didn't do that. When I get Botox, I want it to be for something awesome.)

For the last few months, I've been going to a new dentist. She is a good friend and I adore her. This causes me a great deal of contradictions as I normally loathe all dentists. Her, though? She's good people.  She has a plan.  A little retainer to wear 24/7 that will retrain my jaw to the correct position and change the way my jaw muscles behave.

On Monday, I got my little device fitted. It slips over my bottom back teeth and hugs snugly. It has a teeny lip that goes over my bottom front teeth and is "hardly noticeable".  You know, except for the fact it feels like I have a hockey puck in my mouth and I am lisping like I have a forked tongue.

So, of course, I went straight from the dentist to work. As a crisis counsellor and child protection worker. Because, nothing is better for clear communication than having a large plastic device taking up all your tongue room. (That's what she said.)

Standing on the porch of a house, a client turned to me after I tried repeatedly to explain why I was there and said "What? I can't understand you? Why can't you talk right?"

Thisch isch going to take awhile.