Thursday, October 10, 2013

Instructions for the Dog Sitter: Post from the Past

This weekend, a friend who used to dog sit for me took care of Monty while we were involved in wedding things.  We reminisced about the time I left her an 8 page instruction manual about the three dogs I had at that time.  Below is a compilation of the posts I did about it.  It was originally posted on August 2008.


A friend has agreed to come to our house and stay with our pups so they do not have to go through the kennel experience again right away. I am so thankful she is able to do this and I don't know if she can possibly know how much it means to me not to have to worry as much about them. However, I am still going to worry a little. Its just who I am. To not worry would be like making water run up hill.

I am going to have to get the house cleaned up to a nice, respectable level in order to not be embarrassed to have her here. Then, I am going to have to have everything ready for her to have an easy time of it with our little terrors. I am not worried they will have a bad time... I am worried that she will never speak to us again.

I have started a list of things she will need to know to have a smooth few weeks with my dogs. It started out as a short list. It is now 6 pages long. It is pathetic. So, I decided to blog it. I want you all to know 1) I am a nutbar, and 2) how to care for my dogs in case I die and leave them all to you in my will.

Dogs in window 1
Montel, Madison, and Vicki

Vicki (blue bowl) = 3/4 cup
Montel (red bowl) = 1 cup even-ish
Madison (silver) = 1 heaping cup

Food is in the big blue bin under the counter by the dog bowls. The dogs eat once at supper time. The chews and snacks are there too. Try and leave chew bones (raw hides) [I remembered the word after the fact] out whenever you leave. The dogs are chewers.

If they are annoying you, slather peanut butter (bottom door, top shelf next to the fridge) on the bones. It gets you 20 mins+ of quiet time. [I forgot to include not to dip the bones directly into the peanut butter as it makes Ky VERY angry. She goes all ranty about sanitary things.]

Caution: Don't leave anything you don't want eaten where they can get it. Be careful with your purse. Madison loves lip gloss, gum and lotion. [Also, this week she added Mp3 players to that list.]

Bathroom Habits

  • Don't leave the human bathroom door open or Maddy will pee on the rug.
  • They can go in if you are there. They love to sit in the tub.
Maddy in Tub
Madison watching the tub drain
Outdoor Bathroom:
  • In the morning, (First thing and/or before you go to work) put the dogs out.
  • You will have to force Madison out (kicking and snarling) as she does not like to go out to pee.
  • Montel needs out before you go out the front door (any time) or he thinks you forgot about him and pees anywhere.
  • Montel will ring the bell to go out. Madison will either whine or just disappear to sit at the back door. Vicki may growl, but likely won't do anything.
  • As soon as you get home, put them out (at least Montel) or he gets excited and pees.
  • Block all rooms when you leave the house.
  • The dogs leashes match their collars. The harnesses need to be used on Montel and Vicki or Vicki chokes. She might anyway.
  • The chocolate poop bags are on the bench.
  • Madison sometimes decides she's a princess and doesn't like walks. If she goes into her kennel, you can put her leash on while she's in there and drag her out. If she snarls just leave her. She can be a jerk.
  • If you see a dog or cat: 1) avoid it if you can, 2) walk on the other side of the road, 3) either keep Montel close and let the other two go, or 4) let Vicki hide behind you and Madison will keep Montel in line.
  • Montel and Vicki will wrestle occasionally while on walks. They are just playing, not fighting.
  • The dogs usually get 2x 20 minute walks a day. Usually after work and before bed. They know the route. Sorry, we're OCD.
  • They will bark like mad. (The dogs, not the visitors)
  • Tell them the people are friends and let them in to stand in the foyer [I don't have a foyer. I meant entry. Which is just a rug.]
  • The dogs will settle a bit and then the friends can sit down
  • The dogs will climb all over them
  • Vicki might hate them. She's temperamental. Hold her for a bit, then let her investigate.
  • No dancing or loud, jumpy movements. The dogs are INSANE.
I know. This is way too much info. I've never left them alone this long and I am crazy.


  1. Hahaha! And I thought I was bad with the one page of instructions I typed up for my husband's niece when she stayed with our dogs for a weekend.

    1. Yeah, it might have been overkill.

  2. Love it! You're just very thorough. I'm sure that there was no guess-work involved in sitting the dogs! ;)

    1. It was work just looking after them!!

  3. Haha this made me laugh. What a list! Madison is adorable in that tub picture.

    1. Both Madison and Vicki love to be in the tub. They look down the drain and try and turn the tap on to watch the water go down. Maddy actually figured out how to do it in that house.

  4. I don't know which is crazier your instructional manual for the dogs or that I now want to dog sit for you. And, you have a dog named Vicki and one named Montel. It just gets better and better. The dog that likes to sit in the tub...hilarious. You reference person bathroom. Does that mean there is a dog bathroom? The instructions for the walk though is the best. Seriously when can I come dog sit :)

    1. Now that I'm down to just one dog, it's rather boring. But I could always borrow the other two for a day and call you up, Amy!


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