Seven years and no itch in sight

Seven years ago, I was complaining about how much I hated dating. I fervently wished someone would just arrange a marriage for me so I didn't have to think about it.

Then I went for coffee with The Guy.

We were so young!

I liked him - he was tall and funny - but I was sure the world would stop spinning and birds would sing as soon as I met "the one" so I didn't know if I was convinced.

I was so naive.

The thing was: I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was funny and interesting and after a few dates I knew he was pretty special.  I realized I didn't want him NOT to be in my life.

I think back to that girl I was back then. Scattered, emotionally damaged, wandering but on a holding pattern, and, honestly, a bit of a tool.

The Guy had a lot to do with me calming down and getting more focused. He helped me relax and be more comfortable with who I am, so I'm not so worried about being silly.  I am a better person now because he has been in my life and I like to think he's better too.

That's what the me of 7 years ago didn't get.  Love isn't about earth shaking and harps playing - it's about two people who make each other better versions of themselves. It's about little things every day that show love and appreciation.

2014 - it's our year

I'm glad that girl smartened up. I'm glad she took a chance.  

I'm reaping the benefits.

And there are still a lot more to come.

Thankful for Dollarama home decor

1. The drywall is finished. The ceiling is sprayed and knocked off. The painting is started. May 1 is coming soon.


2. I heart shopping at Dollarama. Not only did I get a ton of stress busters for work, I found this set of letters (for $2.50!!). It kickstarted my need to plan the foyer of the new house. (Post next week!) I also bought an etched glass sign, but both The Guy and my young friend, Maddy, assured me it was ugly. Thankfully it was only $3.
   
   


3. My WCB claim was processed. I'm still waiting to talk to a person about how it all works, but I'm seeing my chiropractor, my masseuse, and am going to a physiotherapist next week. I'm a little sore and ouchie in spots, but my headache is workable. 


4. I'm a little behind, but I'm still really enjoying the #100happydays challenge and it gave me the chance to share this print that I want so badly.
   
   

   

   I convinced him! He bought it two weeks later!!

   
   
5. No matter how whiney or pouty or sad I am, The Guy will still work on making me laugh.

Top 10 tweets I've ever posted since the beginning of time. I'm funny.

I was planning on doing an entire post on the plans I have for the front entry, but I will do that for another day. It's been a busy week and I accidentally got lost looking at all my most favourited and retweeted tweets on Twitter. Here are my favourites.

Bronwyn‏@Bronwyn_MayB

Most of my conversations with my husband end with me sighing deeply and saying "And then, Your Honour, I stabbed him."

1:37 PM - 23 Oct 2010

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When asked "What are you making?" the answer likely shouldn't be "Plans for your downfall."

11:28 AM - 5 May 2011

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There is some unknown substance on my phone screen so I've decided to lick it.

8:55 PM - 22 Mar 2012

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When I hear classical music playing in a public restroom, I feel I should be doing something a lot more impressive than I am.

6:30 PM - 28 Jan 2010

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The last hour of a workshop takes 3 days.

1:31 PM - 1 Jun 2011

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Back to our regularly scheduled cynicism, sarcasm, and sass.

2:07 PM - 21 Nov 2011

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I keep using my Neti Pot, but I don't feel high at all. Am I doing it wrong?

9:09 AM - 7 Jun 2010

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Gloria Estefan says the music is going to get me, so I'm sleeping with a knife. I'm going to get the music first.

8:37 AM - 8 Oct 2010

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Deleting a tweet with a spelling error takes the same amount of time as closing an Xrated browser in front of your Mom.

• 
  

10:03 AM - 29 Aug 2010

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When I can't think of a word, I act it out in order to remember it. I really hope I don't try to remember the word "naked" in public. Again.

• 
  

9:22 PM - 4 Dec 2009

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Is it just me or, after a long workout, do you lay on the floor with a package of bacon and cry?

8:17 PM - 5 Jan 2010

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Remember you can always get my funny first hand. Follow me on Twitter at Bronwyn_MayB

Top 3 time periods I wish I'd lived

The other night while at supper with a friend, we were chatting about times in history and how women lived and worked.  I asked the question: if you could choose any other time in history to live, what would you choose? 

Apparently, most grown women do not often contemplate questions like these! Fortunately, she was a good sport despite thinking I'm a bit nuts.

Being that we're friends, she should know that.

In an effort to share all my thoughts with the public, I thought I would share my top 3 times/places in history I wish I had lived.


The American Wild West

picture via

I grew up on Louis L'Amour books and John Wayne movies. I was impressed with the attitude all the women of the time possessed and I wanted to be the tough, but loveable single woman who ran her own ranch or brothel (depending on how sassy I'm feeling). I wanted to be the woman who pretended to be a man and proved she could shoot, ride, etc. as well as a man only to reveal her identity and convince everyone that gender stereotypes were wrong.

In all actuality, I would be the hard and angry woman with 14 children, a husband she doesn't respect, who one day goes out to cut fire wood because the lazy so-and-so didn't who would accidentally lodge the ax in her own leg and die instantly.

I shouldn't kid myself.

Aside: please look at my role model, Annie Oakley, whom I once believed to be the epitome of beautiful and capable woman. She actually looks like the opposite of what I envisioned -- a man, dressed as a woman, complete with her (his) own moustache.


Spy in World War II

Women were widely used in WW2 for missions and roles they had not been in the past. The SOE employed many women who were trained in combat (weapons and hand-to-hand) who were invaluable to the war efforts.

I was (and am) in awe of these women.

Odette Sansom (pic via)

Violette Szabo (pic via)

If I were alive in this time, I would want to be the women who fought in public (and in secret) for the good of her country. I am lost in the romance and ghoulishness of the strength these woman would have had to possess to do what they needed to do.

Again, if it were real life, I would have been a factory worker of thousands putting rivets into things all day. No less important, but exceedingly less exciting.


The Future: Deep Space

Firefly badass Zoe (pic via)

Yes, I know, the future hasn't happened yet and we can't guarantee there will be space ships and space travel and awesome fights against human looking cylons, but if there is? I want to be there.

I realize I am a big big nerd. I'm comfortable with that and you should be too.

I want to be Zoe. I want to be the tough chick on the ship guarding her people while her gentle and wise cracking husband pilots and hides when trouble comes.

In all reality, I will move to the moon, forget to put my helmet on, and die instantly from lack of oxygen.

Best of: my favourite of the first 50 days #100happydays

In January, I began a trek into reminding myself what makes me happy on a daily basis. I'd had a rough fall, a worse winter, and then my best friend died. This has been my daily reminder that the world was not ending.

Now, things are on the upswing. I came back from stress leave to a new position at work that I love, a constant work schedule for the first time in 15 years, new learning opportunities, the house build on track for May 1, and The Guy moved to a normal work time. It's been a whirlwind few months and I still feel like my brain hasn't caught up, but I'm enjoying it.

I decided to go through the first 50 days of my #100happydays and show you some of my favourite pictures.

Day 1                                                                        Day 30

My two guys

Warmer weather and new booties make happy puppy!

It is fitting I started this adventure with a picture of my family. They both make regular appearances throughout.  The Guy is my rock and Monty is my comfort. Whenever a bad day threatens, one of these two will make everything okay. I could not be more thankful for them.

Day 3

Poolside Cuban resort

For many years, The Guy and I have travelled to Cuba with friends. This year, The Guy booked an impromptu trip for just the two of us. We lounged, ate, drank, napped, wandered, and relaxed. It was just what we needed.  For our first "solo" trip, it was a success!

Day 11                                                                       Day 31

Winter walk with Monty

Beautiful evening sky

This winter has been the coldest I can remember. With temps dropping to -45C without accounting for the wind (which brought it down to -52C some night) it was rare we could get outside. When we did, both Monty and I relished in the freedom and the beauty. Well, he had the freedom part anyway. I just revealed in the beauty the world has for us, even when it's frozen.

Day 15

A conversation with my brother.

This conversation with my brother has exploded to new heights of torture. I put this picture on Facebook and suddenly everyone in my brother's life started posting banana facts, banana pictures, and banana paraphernalia. It has been glorious. I'm sure he's going to punch me in the nose when I see him next, but it was worth it.

Day 18

I found this pic of The Guy and me in 2012
picture by our friend Denise

This picture popped up on my radar after 2 years and sent me immediately back to that night. A warm "summer" night in Cuba with friends, laughter, my love, and the most amazing city I've ever been in. I love me some Havana.

Day 19                                                                        Day 28

Group Sudoku challenges

Animal erasers for work Sudoku challenges!

At the suggestion of a new student at our office, the workers started to do one Sudoku challenge a night. We worked on it during our breaks and began cheering each other on, correcting each other's missteps, and bonding as a team like we hadn't been able to do in a long time. I love Sudoku for this reason alone.

Day 23

Finished my llama shawl today

I began this shawl in November and finally finished it. The yarn was llama wool from a local vendor and had been purchased for me by KB years before. I was working on it the night she died and she never even knew I had started it. I'm glad to have a physical reminder of the warmth and love KB had for me.

Day 25                                                                       Day 29

The colour palette for our house

The colours and tiles for our Master Suite

Day 36

New counters and cupboards for the house

As the time to move into our new place gets closer and closer, I am preparing for how I want it all to come together. We are getting to pick out things for the house - like colours and countertop - and I am in my element. The Guy has been smart enough to stand back and watch with amusement.  He gets the garage, I get the decorating!

Day 33

Sarah and I had fun at the Science Centre

My good friend (and once neighbour), Laura, and her little imp, Sarah, invited me out to the Science Centre for the day. I had not been in many many years, so I jumped on the chance.  We explored, we played, we laughed, we took pictures of dead mice.  A good time was had by all.

Day 40                                                                        Day 49

Kid in a box

Uncle will have a good helper at the new house

Lil E (or Elizabug) has been a big part of my happiness over the last 50 days. I try to take her once a week when I can so that I can get my baby fix and her mom can finish her dissertation. E and I take on the big city, walk the dog, play at the library, refuse nap time, and generally make fools of ourselves. She brings a joy to me every time. Even when she's grumpy.

Day 41

It would have been my mom's 65th birthday

It has been almost ten years since my Mom passed and this day would have been her 65th birthday. This was the last picture taken with my mother and, though she was very ill at this point, she would fight another 2 years to make sure we were all taken care of. I miss her every day, but I'm glad I had her for the time I did.

Day 43

New hair cut!

I had slipped into the trap of not taking care of myself. I finally decided enough was enough and went to get my hair did.  My hairdresser is a great man who is very knowledgeable about curly hair. I am thankful I found him! He and his wife just had another baby, so he was brimming with father pride. That kind of happiness is contagious.

Day 48

This encouraging piece of graffiti

There are few times that graffiti makes me smile and stop to take a picture, but this one did.  It put a smile on my face for the whole day. I think the artist would be happy with his (or her) efforts.

Day 52

Signs of spring: water channels

I know I said the first 50 days, but I had to include this one.  SPRING IS HERE.  Well, sort of. It has since snowed again and reverted back to winter, but for a few fine days spring was here. We made it.

I cannot tell you all what this project has meant to me. Somedays I didn't have time to take pictures or the thing that made me happy wasn't photographable, but to have the idea in my head to search for something every day that makes me happy has been invaluable.  I think when it's done, I may have to start again!

Check out my entire collection of #100happydays pictures.
Follow me and see them first hand on my Instagram page.

Late night edition of Thankful Thursday

It's snowing on the first day of spring. I have a sinus infection and The Guy has the flu. I've been eating everything that isn't nailed down and my back/neck injury from earlier this month isn't making it easy to do things.

Wait... this is about things I'm thankful for.

FINE.

1. I went to a fantastic training session on being a leader on the front lines. It was a great place to learn about supervising and how it is not about "managing" people, but rather helping them reach their greatest potential. There was also tiny animals to play with and pipe cleaners. Thanks to Pine Tree Management Course!
   

   

   Orangutang of motivation

2. Lil E and I spent the afternoon together again. We took Monty for a walk, we bothered Uncle Wade, we ate the dog's raw hide bone (good for teething!), and then we went to the library where we made best friends with elementary school girls. It was fun and we will do it all again!
   

   

   E stole my rice cold pack and decided it was her best friend.

   
   
3. The house is drywalled and the contractor has asked for our final paint colours. We may be moved in before 2045!
4. It has been 3 weeks since it's been -30 C. So, that's something.
5. I totally nailed that Sudoku puzzle I started tonight. "Gentle" my butt.

My Ukrainian worry: My Dad in Lederhosen

Many of you know, my father (known as Blog Fodder online) lives in the Ukraine.  He has lived there about 7 years after he married a wonderful and tough lady, my mail-order-step-mom, Tanya.  Tanya is a Russian woman from Siberia who has lived and worked in Ukraine for many years.  Dad moved there and was warmly invited into her family of two sons (my younger step-brother passed away a year ago), two daughter-in-laws, and two granddaughters, Masha and Dasha.

Because my Dad was always a historian in his spare time, he is well versed in the goings-on between Russia and the rest of the world.  He has been fascinated with the leaders, the people, and the history for as long as he knew about them. This fascination could explain why my siblings and I played the game "K!ll the Russians" during the Cold War.  I now wish we had given it a slightly different name.

Dad could not be in a more perfect place to see this up close.  He was even in Maidan the day the fires began. His wife wanted to see what was happening up close and mentioned if she were younger, she would be right there on the lines.  Understandably, they are both worried for the people of Ukraine. The corruption that has led such wonderful, hard-working people to a bad place. The pressure from another corrupt nation that may cost them freedom, lives, and basic necessities.

I am worried sick. My family -- people I have met and love (and even my Dad) -- are in a place where there is the great likelihood of imminent danger and I cannot get them out.  Now, they live in a smaller village outside of a larger town that is closer to a larger city, so likely the fighting will not come knocking on their door.  But I don't know.

I hate not knowing.

Because I have been more aware of what is going on in Ukraine than I ever am of world events (yes, I'm an Ostrich, thank-you-very-much) I am trying to figure out exit strategies for my family if it comes to that. Somehow, in my head, I am imagining them having to flee Russian invasion like many had to flee the Nazis.

This leads me to the lederhosen.

One night, I was thinking about my dad, his wife, their son, two daughters, and granddaughters (one 9 months old) having to flee in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their backs. I imagined my rather large and poorly exercised father trying to climb mountains and walk for hundreds of miles to safety.

Suddenly, I flashed to a scene from Sound of Music where the Von Trapps had to escape Austria during the night in the midst of a concert so they could get to safety.  It went from Captain Von Trapp, to Lederhosen, to my father, to my father in Lederhosen.

picture via

After picturing a 6'3" 350lb old man in Lederhosen fleeing the Nazis, I realized perhaps I was a little over worried about this.

I later told my Dad about my worry for his safety and my vision of his escape from Ukraine. He laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. He then asked his wife if they could fin Lederhosen in his size. She looked at him with the cocked eyebrow only wives can give that said "You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?"

I've managed to keep my panic under control since then.

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If you are interested in reading about the Ukrainian issues from a Canadian ex-pat who is also a historian and a news junkie, here you are:

My Dad's f posts on Ukraine troubles:
I break radio silence 
Winning the peace
Fascism, Russian, and Ukraine
Crimea heats up
Extreme apprehension
All talk, no shooting - so far
No war until Monday
In search of an honest man

This isn't even all of them he's written. I just caught the main ones. Hope it helps clear things up and encourages you to keep the Ukrainian people in your hearts and minds.

Irish settler: my green genetics

Today is the day of my people. No, not binge drinkers (although I have some of those in my people too) but the Irish.  I'm not just Irish, but it's the one I relate to the most.  My family is a mutt-mix of English, Irish, and Scottish. I think there is a random Dutch thrown in there, but I'm not sure.

My family has never really participated in the any cultural events, not even Irish. No scary River dancing, no beer, no violent uprisings. We were Canadian from the day we landed and fully embraced the culture of apologizing and wishing we lived in a warmer climate.

 So, happy day some weird dude played the flute and led snakes out of Ireland. Or something. 

My great-grandfather Freke's signature entering Ellis Island

Thankful Thursday

This week's thankful list is brought to you by "I love my job" and "I'm too old for this."

1. Even though I stayed in a rather sketchy motel room in Melfort, I did not get murdered and their pillows were enormous!
   
   

   

   Motel pillows with actual substance

   
   
2. I am thankful chiropractors exist.  Oh! And massage therapists.  After my weekend at work where I wrenched my back, I need it! Tomorrow morning, I will be in heaven!


3. I had a play date with Lil E on Tuesday. We went to the library, played with the dog, had a bottle (mine was wine), and went on a walk. There was no napping.  Until we pulled into her parents parking lot, that is.  I'm still tired and thankful I'm an auntie and I get to send her back when I'm exhausted!  Can't wait to do it again! 
   
   

   

   Come see this, Auntie!

4. I went on a quick trip near Melfort and got to see a roadside robot, a redneck snowmobile, and a beautiful church. I also got to take this picture of the stain glass window from the inside of another beautiful church.  Being that my trip was for business, it was definitely a pleasure!!
   
   

   

   Simple, but beautiful

5. I'm home with my man and my dog. Can't ask for more.

Haunted by the ghost of coincidence

My mom says hi.

At least, that's the joke I have had going this week because of how often things about her have been popping up randomly.  It's been 10 years on April 9th since she died of cancer, so I was aware there would be memorials and pictures and all that, but I didn't expect this.

Last week, after 10 years, I accidentally called my mom's old work number.

image via

Mom used to work for the health district. All numbers in health start with 766 and the last four digits are different. I was calling an agency in the health district that I call numerous times a week. I wasn't thinking about their number because it's ingrained in my head.

Suddenly I looked down at the display on the phone and realized I had not called them. I had called Mom's work number.  I hung up and shook my head.  Where did that come from?

When I mentioned it to my siblings, my brother asked "Did she answer?" and I stole a line that my friend KB used to say when someone asked her about talking to her (deceased) mother "I would be significantly more excited if she had!"

Fast forward to this week.  I had applied for a new credit card to put all my business expenses on (and, honestly, to get a bonus air miles deal).  It arrived in the mail and I set up the activation.  The website reminded me to look at the PIN they sent me for when I make direct purchases. I opened up the little flap and damn near fell over.

It was my mom's four digits of her work phone number.

Post from the past: Wheatless home on the prairies

This was initially posted in March of 2010. What a difference four years makes.  I have not regretted the diet and life change in the years since my diagnosis. Though, I do still miss some things now and again.

Now, of course, the rest of my family has refused to get tested so it is Ky and I alone in our wheatlessness. Ky has also taken out dairy, soy, corn, etc and consist on a diet of "broccoli and sadness". Though I should remove dairy from my diet, I am not ready for that yet.

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via

Since my sister, Ky, announced in February [2010] she was diagnosed with Celiac's disease, we knew it was a matter of time before the rest of us had to get tested.  We all have similar symptoms and have been going to doctors for years with limited success.  Now that we know it exists in our family, we can get tested.

I got home from Victoria and immediately went to the doctor to get the test underway.  One big blood test later (seriously, I don't think I had blood left when they were done) I had to wait for the results.  Since I've had numerous other health issues going on, the one week waiting period turned into three in order for all the results to come in at the same time.

Wednesday was that time.

I walked into the doctor's office, got into my paper gown (the physical was that day too, oh joy) and waited.  I've been a bit anxious about what the results of the Celiac test would be, so finally being so close to an answer was a bit nerve racking.

My lovely doctor came in, sat down, told me the results of the test and immediately took my blood pressure.  Not such a good choice it turns out.  Perhaps she should have reversed that?

I have Celiac's disease.  My levels were far and beyond the highest of the measurable scales.  The levels that were "extremely high" were left in the dust by my results.  For once, I'm an overachiever.  Yay me.

It means going on a gluten-free diet.  No wheat.  No bread.  No pasta.  No cereal.  Forever.

I've had a month to digest this (pardon the pun) but it was still kind of a kick to the junk.  I know I will adjust.  I will be forced to eat healthier and this is awesome.  However, I have to admit, I am in mourning.  It's going to be a big adjustment.  I'm going to have to learn how to cook healthier, want to cook healthier, eat healthier, want to eat healthier.  I'm going to have to stop eating a family sized box of Mini Wheats a month.

I know it will be good for me.  I will likely lose weight (Dr. figures my body can't process the gluten so it stores it -- just in cases).  I will not be as tired.  I will not be as irritable.  I will not be as gassy.  (The world rejoices at that one.  Especially Monty and The Guy.  Dutch oven gets old fast.)  I will feel better.

Really, I should be looking on the up side of this.  It will be nice not to have bi-polar intestines with the emotional stability of a pubescent teenage girl in the hysterics of unrequited love.

But I will really miss Mini Wheats.

No Memory: Chapter 3

Chapter 1: Meet the woman who came to consciousness and remembers nothing of her life.
Chapter 2: Karen discovers who she is and how much not remembering can hurt those around her

Chapter 3:

I'm now in charge of the bedtime routine.

Steven thought it would be good for me -- to do the things I did before. We both want things to be as normal for Julianna as it can be, so bedtime was a natural place to start.

The first few days I had to be helped.

Julianna had to show me where she kept her pajamas and which drawer held her toothbrush.  She patiently led me to her room to show me where she slept and where I would sit to read her a story.

She has stopped looking at me with the hurt and confusion from the first few days and has now moved to looks of pity and resolve.  I'm not sure if pity from a 5 year old is something I'm happy about, but it has been a little less painful for me.

She is still a daily reminder that I am not whole.

It is getting easier to be me. Easier to be in this house, but it still seems not quite right. I'm not quite right.

The other day, I was able to find something in the kitchen without being told where it was. Steven's face lit up like it was Christmas morning. He is sure it is a matter of time before I start to remember something, but I'm not so sure. I just thought about what I wanted to find and where it would make the most sense to find it.

My deductive reasoning has fooled Steven a few times now.

Steven has returned to work a few hours a day. While Julianna is at kindergarten, he goes to work. When she is home, he is home. I don't blame him for being careful. I am aware of the uncertainty of my mental health. If we don't know what has caused it, we don't know what would make it worse. Or, for that matter, what could make it better.

There has to be something to make it better. I don't know how long I can go just waiting to see if there is a change.

I'm bored.

Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives. Steven's parents have gone home. The visitors and well-wishers (let's be honest, the looky-lous) have stopped dropping by. The doctors visits are less and the days keep going on. Even Julianna is going to school and having play dates.

I sit and wait to remember.

I had a job, I know. I was an accountant for a small firm. I can't do my job now, so I am on extended leave. I am told my job will be there when I am ready to return. However, this is said with the gentle assurance of someone not ready to break bad news just yet.

I am frustrated with this woman I am now even though I can't remember the one I was. I am frustrated at the lack of action this woman takes. I feel the need to do something - anything! - but have nothing to do to take off the edge.

I think the woman I was would greatly dislike the woman I am right now.

I'm not too fond of her either.

Next up:
Chapter 4
Karen and Steven return to the grocery store to aid in her memory return.

Recharging for Thankful Thursday

1. After the worst weekend I've worked in a long time, I've had 3 days to do nothing but nap, eat, nap, watch TV, and walk the dog.


2. The extremely frigid weather broke for a bit. It's meant more snow, but we have been able to go outside and that means more than I can say.
   
   
   
   
   



3. I've had some time to catch up on Walking Dead episodes. Darryl breaks my heart. As my sister said, "He is equally sexy and repugnant, but I love him".






4. Surprising pops of colour in an otherwise white landscape
   
   
   



5. Supper and drinks with friends tonight before I head back to work tomorrow. Bring on the pork ribs!

Happy birthday, Mom.

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 65 years old.

What do you say about a woman who meant everything to you, but who has been gone for so many years?

She was my best friend and my hero. A woman I wanted to be exactly like, but also whom I learned a lot from in what not to do. She owned both her triumphs and her mistakes with the knowledge they shaped her to be more than she was. She was strong and capable, loving and comforting, wise and silly.

Ten years later and I still have such vivid memories.

Our first mother/daughter photo

• The smell of Taboo lingering on your clothes after she hugged you.
• The smell of baked bread on Thursday afternoons.
• Her watching sports on her little TV in the kitchen - hands on her hips, one foot perched on the opposite thigh. 
• Her relationship with my dog, Dez. Dez might have lived with me, but she was my Mom's dog.
• Her loud and exuberant laugh that let you know she was enjoying something or someone. You could find her in any crowd with that laugh.
• The fuzzy hair. We would find her in stores by looking for the fuzz of dark hair over the shelves. I still see that hair every once in awhile and it takes me back.
• How much she loved me. I still remember that every day.

Our last mother / daughter picture

Happy birthday, Mom.

Mumbling incoherently: my version of pillow talk

Most of the time, I don't sleep very soundly.  It has been a curse of my life (and anyone else in my bed) - I don't sleep through the night, I hear every sound, and I am a miserable blanket hog.

Every once in awhile though, I will sleep the sleep of the dead. Usually this involves a long shift at work, over-the-counter medications, and all the stars aligning in a paisley pattern.

Sometimes, you just have to pass out

Seriously, it's that rare.

I find, when I am sleeping this hard, it is the exact moment someone will call me and need me to think immediately upon answering the phone. It almost always goes like this:

Me: holmewhho?
Them: There is 4 seconds on the count down and I need to know which wire!!! Green or red? DO I CUT GREEN OR RED???? 
Me: mfwenarg
Them: ** KABOOM **

This weekend I experienced a bit of that. With the new title at work, I am on call a lot. On my 4 days of work, if there is a crisis the other workers need help with, I'm the first call.  I don't mind it, I like to help.  The only problem is, I don't always remember what I've said once I wake up the next morning.

A co-worker was laughing at me about her call to me early one morning.  She knew I would be waken out of a dead sleep so tried to ease me into talking by asking how I was and all that. I guess I was a little incoherent because all I could say was "whatveyougot?" mumbled as though my face was still in a pillow.

I can sleep anywhere. Just not well.

It reminded me of the time a room mate told me about a conversation a friend of hers had with me one morning after I had been on night shift.  The friend had called looking for Shannon. I knew Shannon was house sitting for someone. I thought I relayed that to the friend.  I did not.

Instead? I said "Shannon lives in a house."

Then I hung up.