People often ask if we have children. When I tell them no, they usually have questions as to why not. It's a fair question. I am not upset by having to answer it. Not at all.
Well, not any more.
Almost 2 years ago, The Guy and I learned we couldn't have children. This was after months and month of doctor's visits, needles, probings, stadiums filled with spectators of my lady bits, and finally the ultimate disappointment.
I stopped writing around that time and I realized most people don't know how things have changed for us since then.
We aren't going to have children and I'm okay with that.
We considered our options - adoption, rental, kidnapping.
Just kidding. You can't rent kids.
What we decided was that adoption was too expensive for us. We couldn't adopt (or even foster) locally because of my job (I do emergency child protection as a crisis worker) and, if we went internationally, it would be upwards of $60,000. As much as I love children, that was just not feasible for us.
We even talked about older adoptions such as my friend, Violet, has done and my cousin, B. However, my heart was set on babies. Finally, we settled our hearts and our minds.
Children weren't going to be for us.
Despite our initial hope we would be parents, we did become quite settled with the fact it was not to be. I think it took me a long time. My friends were all having babies by the droves. My office was full of new babies. Even my job took me to baby after baby.
But I realized something. I love babies. I also love kids, but in much smaller doses. What I did love was being an aunt. Not that my siblings have kids.
I have copious amounts of first and second and third cousins with whom I am close. We have many, many friends. We have coworkers. They have kids. I would have the best of both worlds. I could spend time with kids I liked, avoid the ones I didn't, and have lots of cuddles or pirate searches or trips to the movies.
And then, I could send them home.
We would still be able to be important in the lives of children we love. We would also be able to travel. We will have a fulfilling life even if it isn't the one I had planned when I was 12. (Thank God. I had 8 children in that plan. Lord, help us all.)
I'm pretty lucky to have a husband I love who is so much better for me than anything I could have dreamed up. I also have my dog.
Who couldn't be happy with that?