Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Well, I wanted a change

In January, I wrote about my word for the year: change. I'd had a rough fall which had been preceded by a tough couple of years. I needed something to be different and I decided it was going to be me.

Well, I asked for it.

This angel knew I was asking for it

Things at work have changed for the better for the most part.

I am loving my new assignment and really feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.  I am a little overwhelmed at times and am putting in a lot of hours, but for the most part, I think I could be good at it.  There are still a lot of things there that need to change, but I'm more positive than I have been in a long time there.

I am excited to go to work again.

The contract work is a lot tougher than I thought. I can do it, but am at times overwhelmed by the incredible amount of data I need to go through and somehow shape into a cohesive, concise, and helpful evaluation. I head back out to the community this week for two days of festivities, interviews, and more information.  It's due in June and I am going to be pulling a few all nighters.

My dad says that our family only finds inspiration in looming deadlines.  He's not wrong.

The house is getting closer and closer every day. It cannot come soon enough for me, but I am trying to be patient. Things beyond anyone's control keep cropping up and just when I think we will have a date to move in, it becomes less concrete.  I have gone from being frustrated at the delays to thinking it's the nicest house I will NEVER EVER GET TO LIVE IN.

Left: upstairs cupboards in the evening
Right; basement cupboards in the afternoon 
The basement kitchen is almost ready to go, but the upstairs counter tops are coming much later. That's what I get for upgrading. If I'd gone with laminate, it would be ready by now.

It is going to be so pretty. It's worth it all.

Or so I repeat, in a mantra, to myself.

I am still going to yoga a couple of times a week. I find it so necessary. It gives me time to centre and realign myself. I need a focused time to unfocus myself. I have a huge crush on one of my instructors and want to be best friends with another. I am still a little out of place with the Lulu lunch crowd, but I don't even care.

(pic taken in Havana)
I need a moment when I'm not overwhelmed by the volume of all that I have going on.

I guess that's the thing about change that I didn't think about.

Change is an action.

Change is exhausting and overwhelming and exciting. It takes over and demands your attention. Life will be different and it's making damn sure you recognize that fact. It means to make or transform and neither of those things are passive.

So, despite truly loving my leisure time, I'm finding I'm moving more often than not. I still need quiet times so I don't burn out, but I have things going on.

When I'm not totally freaking out, it's a great feeling.

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