Spirit, self-care, and reunited friends - my grateful list

While working on being present in my life, I have been much more aware of the things around me and the things that make my life special. It has been imperative for me to acknowledge those things, how they influence my life, and how I feel about them.

March has been an encouraging month. Here are just a sample of why:

The farewell tour of Spirit of the West

When Spirit of the West announced their farewell tour, it was on the heels of the news that their lead singer/guitar player had early onset Alzheimer's and he would no longer be able to tour. Having listened to this band for over 30 years and having seen them a handful of times, it was important to all of us to go bid them goodbye.

Spirit of the West - final tour

The concert was beautiful, heartbreaking, and a testament to true friendship. To watch the members of the band rally around their friend, to guide him when he needed it, to encourage him, to step in when he couldn't quite get there, and to cry for him while he sang, it was an incredibly moving sight.

When they sang Not Just a Train (you can see the video here), as a way to say goodbye, I admit I cried. 

Best friends, best spouses

At the end of the month, The Guy and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date. I continue to be grateful every day that I have this incredible man in my life. 

9 years together!

Self-Care and my Passion Planner

When I ordered my Passion Planner for this year, I knew it would be a great help with productivity and reaching my full potential. I have been extremely pleased with my planner and am thrilled to see how many others are finding such joy and help from it. 

In cooperation with my counsellor, the planner is helping me remember what is important to me and what I need to do to ensure I don't forget those things. Now, I can clearly see if I'm ignoring my husband, my dog, or my friends. Most importantly, it has helped me to remember to take care of myself. 

Self-care plan

I know that this coming month is going to be crazy, so my focus is on the things that keep me sane, keep me balanced, and keep me productive. I need to make sure I'm practicing these skills so I am on my game.

Monty's new dog tags

Since Monty took a little vacation from his babysitters in October (full story to be told soon, I'm sure), I've been a little more paranoid about how to make sure he can be returned to us if he decides he needs his freedom again. 

Monty's new tags

This month, I decided to spring for a new tag with his name and both our phone numbers. It won't help for the next time we're in Vancouver airport boarding our plan for Hawaii, but it will be a bit easier.

Senior dogs

Monty's mom, Maddy is now 15 years and reaching the end of her time with us. This Easter, I got to spend some time with her again.  She was a great dog for me when I needed her and she has had a great life with my SiL who has cared for her for the last 7 or so years. I am thankful for this spunky little dog and we will be heartbroken when she goes. 

Maddy - the senior dogs

No matter what, this face will bring memories of unending games of fetch, stolen chap stick, and foraging for beans in the garden. 

Reunited: renewed friendships

March has been a great month for friends. A great friend from the states came up to visit me. It had been years since we were together and it was like we'd never been apart. 

I had a coffee date with another friend and we realized her child who had been new born the last time I saw her was now almost 2 years old. Again, we had an exciting conversation that gave me so much to think about afterward I cannot wait to do it again.

We then had another couple from the states come up for a quick stop and, though it was short, it was so good to see them.

These are my favourite types of friends. Friends who challenge me and encourage me and who pick up right where we left off in the conversation regardless if it has been days or years.

Monty too was reunited with his bestie.

Lil E and Monty reunited

In December, my cousin and her family bought their own home. We have been so excited for them to have their first real home, but we definitely have noticed their absence. None so much as Monty, who spent weeks staring into their empty suite with sadness and confusion. 

We went to visit one day and he and Lil E spent ages running the basement, hopping on and off things, playing fetch and tag and colouring. Finally, we were able to slow them down for a brief moment of lunch and TV. Monty slept for 2 full days once we got home.

Gratefulness

I am so thankful for these experiences. Though not every day was a great day, it has made for a great life.

The best friends make the best marriages

March 29th -- 9 years ago today, I nervously waited in a local coffee shop to meet a guy I had been chatting with for a few weeks. He had a great sense of humour online, but I was worried that I would be so awkward in our first meeting that things wouldn't go well.

Instead, this incredibly tall man came into my view with a giant grin on his face and we talked like we had been friends for years.

I believe I was a tad infatuated. (Dec 2007. We were so young!)

That was what I was struck by those first months. Not just the excitement of a new relationship, but that we developed a strong friendship so quickly. I didn't want to live a life without his friendship in it. That's how I knew he was it for me.

We have built a life on that friendship. Inside jokes and quick wit, grandiose plans and down to earth futures. We have laughed hard, cried hard, fought hard, and worked hard. (Him more than me on that working thing.)

I think we have become better people because of each other and we continue to challenge each other to the best versions of ourselves.

On our way to The Hip concert. (2015)

Here is to another 9 years and another after that and after that. I am grateful for the richness The Guy has brought into my life. He has been beside me through everything and has met it all with patience and quick wit.

You can't ask for more.

\\

We went back into that coffee shop a few months ago and I ordered my usual "the largest hot chocolate with the most whipped cream". He turned to me and said "You've been ordering that the exact same way since the moment I met you."

I hadn't noticed, but he did.

You gotta love that.

Making it personal

Ever since Oprah starting talking about gratitude, it has been the go-to for many people. If only we appreciate the things around us, we will be happy.

I have watched numerous TED talks on this point and all the studies seem to say the same. If you are grateful in all things, you are a happier person.

This seems simple. Be thankful for what is around you and you will be happy. Step 1. Step 2. Done.

I'm a huge fan of steps. I love them. Give me a list and I will merrily make my way through it in order to have a sense of achievement so I can show myself and others that I have a purpose. "Look! I did the thing!"

I can do all things... as long as I have a list.

Here is the thing. While I can appreciate all the things around me, it does not always translate into me being anything else than me appreciating things around me. At what point do I have to make it personal? Where it becomes more than just noticing stuff?

I have been challenged, along with being grateful for things, to be grateful for things inside me. Things I can do, things I am, things I think, things I have the capability to process.

That's a lot tougher.

I am thankful I have the ability to write. Not just to put words down in a "See Jane run." way, but to make them flow and tell a story. I am thankful that I have the ability to tell a story, whether it be in my contact notes for work, or a letter to a friend (which I haven't done in a long time), or a blog post or short story. I am grateful for the ability to make words slide and sway and dance into a picture.

I should tell you about the time I made a cup of coffee sound erotic. It was accidental, but quite effective. Considering I was trying to be very serious at the time, my coworkers found it very amusing. Children!

I am grateful for the love of people. Not just that people love me, though that is rather fantastic, but also that I love people. Even when I hate them (which is very, very often) I still love them. I want to do good for people. I do strive for that. I'm not always good at it, but I am grateful it is in me to try and put people first.

I will have to keep thinking on this one. It's a lot tougher than being thankful for sunshine.

Grateful experience

In an effort to be more present, I am returning to a semi-regular grateful journal. After a year of not posting for personal and other reasons, this is just the best place I can think of to keep track of things.

Here it goes.

It had been pointed out to me that I do things in order to avoid experiencing things. I like to keep busy, but recognize it is often so I do not have to be alone in my own thoughts. This means, I often have my head in a book, my ears filled with music, my eyes filled with TV, and my hands filled with knitting -- often all at the same time -- to avoid. It's very true. When faced with a moment of just me and nothing else, I am bored and impatient for it to be over - likely for fear that, in those three minutes, my emotions may climb out of the neatly sealed box I have in my brain and come to choke the life out of me.

Today I am grateful for the foolish idea that I can still change myself or at least experience something in the moment I am there rather than believing if it didn't go on Facebook it didn't happen.

I am grateful for the chance to sit in my front entry and enjoy the warmth of the morning sun with my dog who is equally bored doing nothing for 4 seconds while I drink my coffee and contemplate the list of things I should do, but don't want to.

Light through yonder railing breaks

I am grateful for texts with my husband, especially knowing it will be 3 more days before I see him for more than the moment in the middle of the night when I wake him up climbing into bed after my shift is done.

I am thankful for my dopey dog who gave me a scare this week by collapsing on the floor only to embarrass me by running and jumping the second the vet looked at him to see if he was dying. I'm grateful he wasn't dying so I could be embarrassed by him doing that thing your car does when it makes noises right up until the moment you take it to the garage.

Dog in green

I am grateful for a counsellor that I'm never sure I'm connecting with until the moment she says something to make me reconsider my existence and realize I'm not doing as well pretending to adult as I think I am, but I might - just might - learn how to be better.

I am grateful for a chance to write again. Maybe I will explore why this last year and a bit was so painful I couldn't put words to the page. However, I am also grateful that I don't necessarily have to.

Welcome back, Bronwyn.

Frustrations and thankfulness

You would think that finally moving into our new house would mean I was bursting at the seams with excitement and unable to control myself from showing you everything.

Yeah.

Not so much.

We are in. That is true.

Moving issues

We went without a fridge for 5 days, our dishwasher leaked all over the floor, the closets are a disaster, and neither The Guy or I have slept more than 5 hours a night since we moved in.

Montel has cried and barked for hours every time we leave the house and the soundproofing will only be effective once the entry way is finished and isn't so echoey.

I am happy to be here, but I will be happier to be settled.


Here are the things I am able to be thankful for this week.

Family

1. My brother had a health scare the last few months, but got some good news recently.
   
   He might be a butt face, but he's ours and we don't want to lose him anytime soon.
   
   

   

   We had SO MANY matching outfits

   
   
2. My father and his wife arrive in Canada in a few days. He will arrive to my house after the middle of the month. I'm hoping I have a bed for them by then.
   
   

   

   This is a perfect picture of them as a couple.
   Dad is very pleased with himself
   Tanya is one step from rolling her eyes at him.

   
   

Life improvements

3. The coffee "bar" area in the new house is awesome. It looks that much better now that we have a fridge and don't have to go to the garage for creamer.
   

   
   
   
   

   It will be better when I get a chance to decorate more, but LOOK!!!

4. I got an award from the Women's Committee at my Union for the work I've done. I was pretty impressed - even with the misspelled name!
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. I got an accidental day off today. I have no idea why I booked it. I guess God knew I would need the break by now.

The next step

This coming weekend will have me working to finish unpacking the kitchen, starting on the bathroom, working on my private contract, taking time to hang out with Lil E and Monty, and collapsing in a heap on the floor.

Some time soon, when I can laugh about it, I will start talking about the house.

I'm not there yet.

The Librarian: a post from the past

I originally wrote this post in April of 2010. Librarians played such an integral part of my childhood and now many people I know and tolerate love (including my sister) are librarians.

As I am currently researching and writing for my contract work, I thought fondly of doing papers with the support and knowledge of our local librarians.

If you know a librarian, or you know how to find anything about any topic, thank them for enriching your mind and our lives.

*******************

The Librarian

Since the beginning of time, or at least the beginning of our lives in this city, my family has been going to the same library.

Every weekend, my mother would bundle the four of us kids up and we would begin the trek down the street to the library.  It was not a far walk, by any means, but it seemed that way to us.  A baby in a stroller, an older toddler, a geeky trouble maker, me (practically perfect in every way), and Mom wandered down the 4 or 5 blocks to the library.

Can't you just smell the knowledge?

We had certain rules and guidelines before we were let loose in the library.  No running, no yelling, and only as many books as we can carry home.  This usually meant 10 - 15 children's books for me.  It wasn't near enough, but I knew we would be coming back the next week.

Many of the librarians in our library were there from the beginning.  There is the lady who looks like Dave Foley in drag, the lady with the really long hair and low voice, the other lady, and the one who we moved next door to about 15 years later.  They were the staples of our library.  They knew our names, what we liked to read, what grade we were in, and which movies were playing on Kid's Movie Day.

I never really thought about them much.  I knew they would always be there.  I knew that the one with the long hair would sneak me racy Western novels when I was 13 and Mom wasn't looking.  I knew they existed in the library, but didn't think of them in the outside world.  To me, they would just always be there.

Old timey librarians (via)

This week, I went in to get a new library card.  The long haired librarian with the smokey voice was there.  She instantly knew who I was despite the fact it had been years since I had seen her.  She asked about my sisters, my brother, my father in Ukraine.  She was thrilled that I had gotten married and wanted to know all about it.

We talked about the last time I got a new card (I was 12 and thus allowed to check out books without Mom's permission!) and how many years it had been since I had been visiting the branch.  We thought about it and realized it has been over 25 years.  She laughed.  The first time she met our family, she was 10 years younger than I am today.

Getting older is a bitch.

We chatted for a bit and I carried on my way with a handful of knitting books and a promise to come in and visit more often.  I thought about it and realized how lucky we are.  It is a rare place indeed where the staff of an establishment watches you grow up and becomes such a huge part of your life.

I like how small the world is some days.

Final 50 pictures: 100 happy days in 120 days or less

A long time ago, I did the top pictures of my first 50 days of the #100happydays project. I showed pictures of The Guy and Monty, shots of the house build, of walks in the winter, and of Lil E.

Spring

When I left you last, I ended with the picturesque shot of spring coming to the land. It was a slow spring and 27 days later, I was able to break out of my winter boots into something more fun.

Two days later, I was back in winter boots.

Day 52                                                                                     Day 79

Signs of spring: water channels

Cool kicks bringing in spring!

It is now happily spring, loping towards summer, and I couldn't be happier with the warm weather gracing our presence again.

House progress

The house had started to take shape in the first 50 days and continues to edge towards completion. Our move in date was this weekend, but while our belongings and tenants (hi Sister-wife!) are in, we are not yet.

Here it is starting to shape up into a real house -- inside and out.

Day 56                                                                                       Day 88

WE HAVE DRYWALL!!

We have siding!

I'm in love with the interior, the exterior, the possibilities of decorating each room to my exact liking. I am impatient, but happy with what will be awesome eventually.

Day 87

Reminding myself why the house is worth the wait

Day 97                                                                                           Day 99

The backsplash as it is installed

Fireplace stone is in!

My dog, my companion

I have been thankful everyday for my silly little dog. On days when I am grumpy, sad, hurt, or happy as all heck, he is there making every day better. When he got hurt this spring, it made me realize how much I relied on him just for snuggles alone.

Day 60                                                                                          Day 74

My cuddle bug.

Morning cuddles with my puppy

A few weeks rest and he was back to his old self. Trouble.

Day 80

The dog busied himself while I did outdoor yoga

Keeping busy

I started yoga in April and found a way to centre, re-focus, and get my body healthier. After my back injury in March, it was exactly what I needed.

Day 69                                                                                          Day 70

First day at yoga class!

View from the yoga studio

Toddler madness

I have continued to enjoy hanging out with Lil E as often as I can. I love watching her go from baby, to not-a-baby, to little person.  She's a hoot and I am thrilled to watch her grow up!

Day 75

Lunch w my favourite toddler

Day 96

Lil E wearing the sweater I made her

New animal friends, continued travels, and surprise presents

My last days of the 100 day challenge was spread over a few more than I expected. I intended to keep up with the every day, but grumpiness and busyness vied for my attention.

I did have great interactions with two animals named Stella.

One, the cat Stella, my office mate and I rescued. She was tiny and starving, but she flourished in cat foster care and will be causing all manners of mischief with her new family soon.

The second, french bulldog Stella, is the dog of my friend. She is ridiculous and has painted nails. I love her wrinkles.

Day 73                                                                                         Day 92

Stella the rescue cat!

The wrinkles on this dog

I travelled back to Melfort area a couple of times. Once I got stuck in the mud, the other I enjoyed the skies as I made it home before the storm.

Day 77                                                                                          Day 95

My knight in shining tow truck

Good scenery on a boring highway

After joking that I would need to try and convince The Guy to buy this print for me, he actually went and surprised me with it weeks later.

Day 63

My new painting!

Then, last week a friend - for whom I made a hat this winter - sent me the greatest thank you gift! Home-made quilted coasters and a little wall hanging!

Day 100

Great gift in the mail from a new friend

All in all, it's been a great 100 (well, 120) days.


Day 62

Wearing purple for my friend, Dawsyn,
in honour of Seizure Awareness Day.

Counters, lucidity, and family: thankful on a Friday

1. After initial heartbreak and extreme frustration this week, our countertops were installed today. We are slowly inching closer to done.
   
   

   

   Our choices, almost ready for reveal




2. There are 7 days until we move into our new home. Whether or not they are ready for us!
   

   

   Excuse the mess

   
   Talking to my Grandma this week, she asked why we weren't moving in on May 15th like we planned. She couldn't remember my name, but remembered the house. 


3. My dad and my stepmom Tanya are coming back to Canada for an extended visit. That means Ukraine is stable enough for them to travel here and back. 


4. This kid melts my heart. She makes rough days better with her antics. She isn't mine, but I get to borrow her and return her when she's bad.
   
   

   

   When asked what her shirt is, she replies "Bot"



5. Tea with friends to honour our friend who has been gone such a short time and yet much too long.
   
   
   

Up next week: My life in places

In preparation for moving into our new home, I am posting the 5 most important places I have lived or visited.

The good things in it all: Thankful Thursday

Though I have gotten out of the habit of doing this weekly, I'm still grateful for a great many things. This week has been a much better version of life.

1. We move in to our new house in 2 weeks today. After months of waiting, we are almost there! Things are starting to look like they might actually get it all done.
    

   

   Siding! should be completed this week

   
   

   

   My bathroom of beauty

   
   
2. Being on holidays means I can work on my contract report and get a good portion of it before we move to the new house.  This is especially good as I've had 3-5 months less than most consultants have to write it and it's turning out to be very complicated. 


3. My latest physio assessment said I'm well on the way to recovery - the nerves are finally responding normally! My muscles are still tight and painful, but it is progress.
   
   This is especially good news as the week before I was a sobbing mess in her office because of pain. I'm now doing numerous things of acupuncture and massage - that plus yoga and I will be back. (Pardon the pun.)


4. I compiled a list of 80s songs for my sister (at her request).  I have over 6 hours of 80s music just that I could find. I'm sure there is more because a lot of my favourites weren't on my file! Here is a snapshot just of my 80s pop/rock mix.
   
   

   

   The good thing is, this doesn't show how often I listen to it.

   
   Sigh. I'm a loser.


5. Despite all the turmoil in Ukraine (link to: Ukraine fighting back), my Dad and my StepMom Tanya are still planting things of beauty and reminding us that life... it goes on. 
   
   

   

   Tanya's spring flowers

Late night thankful

It's sad when I consider 11pm late night but it is and I'm old.

I'm on the road for 2 nights leaving The Guy and Monty home alone. I miss them already. 

1. I came home to find The Guy had purchased the painting I had my eye on at Winners. I almost cried. It's so pretty. 

It's also huge!! I love love love it. 

2. I am so thankful for our health care system and Workers Comp. My back still has it's days (like Sunday when I cried at the futility of being broken) but it's healing with the help of my chiropractor, my massage therapist, my physiotherapist, my other chiropractor, and I don't pay for any of it. 

3. I am thankful that, despite Ukraine's continued upheaval, my family is safe. I'm so glad I got to visit before this all happened. I pray for my family's continued safety and for peace in Ukraine. 

4. I am thankful that our house is nearing completion. The cupboards are in and crews are working through the weekend so we can be in as soon as possible. It feels like "six weeks from never" might be sooner than we think. 

Our kitchen with cupboards. Countertops are coming soon too. 

5. I am thankful to be snug in bed at Easter church camp knowing my friends are all just down the hall. Even being here for 2 nights is enough to make me grateful. 

The return of Thankful Thursday: Big Al, Stella, and siblings

After a hiatus last week, I wasn't sure I was going to be up for being thankful today. However, a lot of things made me smile today, so I thought I would share it.

1. My Dad and Tanya took a trip to see my sister, Lyn, and did all the touristy things while looking all touristy. I adore this picture of them.
   
   

   

   Tanya with Big Al at Big Ben

   
   
2. For a glorious hour tonight, I had a kitten. I named her Stella because she's lived a hard life, but is still beautiful.  She has gone to visit the vet and get her ear mites and stuff all checked out before she goes into foster care. ** edited: I just heard she will likely be fostered by a good friend of mine! I get to visit her all the time!!!!!
   
   

   

   Stella, the rescue cat

   
   The Guy texted me after he saw my many pictures of her on Facebook with one line "No, you can't keep her."  He's mean.
3. It is national sibling day. I'm pretty lucky to have a crazy bunch of siblings. Even though we are all over the world, we rock.
   
   

   

   Me and my bro - matching red velour

   

   Precious little sisters are SOOO big

   
   
4. Yoga has been life changing. I go a few minutes early and get myself calmed and relaxed. I sit in the quiet and warmth thankful for where I am. It helps me calm in the chaos that is everything else.  


5. I am thankful for my coworkers and my husband. When I am at my worst, they support me anyway.