No memory: Fiction Friday

This is not part of the Spinster House story. It is a starter piece I wrote for an online class I am taking. I hope you like it.

When I woke up, I was driving. The street in front of me was sparsely populated with other cars and drivers -- all who seemed not to notice I had just come to consciousness. I had not been and suddenly I was.

The yellow line of the road slid under the front corner of my car as it always did, disappearing only to reappear in the rear view mirror later.  The cars to the side of me appeared to be travelling backwards as I remained still, but I knew (somehow) they were parked and I was moving steadily forward.

It is quite disconcertion to arrive anywhere when you have no memory of getting there, but it feels especially dangerous while driving a one ton vehicle. Add to that I had no idea where I was going and I was about to panic. Hands at 10 and 2, I breathed deeply and searched my mind for something.

I had to take stock of the situation. I obviously knew how to drive - the motion of the car, the traffic, lights, and stop signs came to me without thinking. I continued along the same road as though that was my intentional direction. I assumed I had pointed myself that way for a reason, so that way I went.

The car was neatly lived in and in good condition. It appeared to be small SUV with a thin layer of dust covering the dash and random bits of someone's life tucked here and there. An empty take-out coffee cup sat in the holder, a stray receipt, and a pair of sunglasses.

I was overcome with an additional panic when I glanced in the rear view mirror again and noticed a child's booster seat strapped in behind the passenger seat.  My heart nearly stopped and my breathing definitely did.

I wasn't sure if the vehicle was even mine. If not, I had taken a car from a parent. If so, it was my car and that was even worse. Where was my child? Did I even have a child? I'm a parent??

As I pondered my impending motherhood, the GPS spoke out filling the silent vehicle with it's feminine voice. "Turn left in 50 metres."

I was glad someone knew where I was going.

Though I was hesitant to follow a disembodied voice, I seemed to be a rule follower as I turned obediently and followed the road for a short time before she announced (in her superior knowledge) I had arrived at my destination.

I pulled into the drive of a two story family home. White shutters encased large windows and complimented the soft yellow siding. A white porch circled the side of the house and disappeared from view. Two rocking chairs sat near a small table as though inviting friends to sit and get comfortable.

Off of the drive was a small red tricycle laying down in the grass. It seemed to be abandoned in a great hurry by a small person off in search of a grand adventure. My heart gripped in fear and I steadied myself again.

I heard a knock at the car window. Dark eyes of a handsome man stared at me questioningly. Beside him was a little girl with the same eyes and a streak of mud across her cheek. He cocked his head to the side and asked "Babe, are you coming inside?"

Next up:
Chapter 2:
Karen discovers who she is and how much not remembering can hurt those around her.

I live an exciting life: dog toys, laundry, and knitting -- Thankful Thursday

1. My first week back at work in 2 months has been great. I'm feeling really positive and had a fun time. Today at noon, I may hear more good things about work. 
2. I went to bed and woke up with in a pile of toys Monty had amassed during the night. 



Monty's toys

3. I'm almost done our laundry after a week away
4. I've had a lot of knitting time and am almost done a pair of fingerless gloves for a relative and I've got an order from my husband for a pair. The Guy WANTS something I knitted!?!





knitting tweed



5. I made a page to keep all my #100happydays pictures in one place.

Our Cuban excursion

With the house build and career concerns, we didn't think we would be going away this year. That was, however, until it reached -55C and The Guy lost his mind. We got a great deal on a week at our favourite resort and off we go.

It couldn't have come at a better time. We've had two months of stress and worry and then I lost my good friend days after we booked. We needed a break.

Our view of the pool

It was the first time The Guy and I had travelled away for a week together with just ourselves. Normally (including on our honeymoon) we travel with a group.  This would be just us, a week, no distractions, and no one else to talk to. It was as enticing as it was intimidating.

My favourite view

We beached, we lounged, we played in the waves. We ate, we shopped, we drank Pina Coladas. It was glorious. We read, we napped, we went to bed ridiculously early.

Celebrating Cuba with cardboard decor

A friend asked about my favourite part of the trip this time. I admitted it was the fact I got to read 11 books (12 if you count the one on the plane). However, I thought later and it was the fact I got to reconnect with The Guy on a one-on-one basis. It was recognizing how lucky we are to have each other and to spend time together.

Mind you, looking through my pictures you would think the pelicans and cats were my favourite part. I took a lot of pictures of those for sure. The funniest part of that was I kept calling the pelicans "penguins" even though I knew it wasn't right. By the end of the week, The Guy was calling them penguins too. I like that even my bad grasp of words are contagious.

Hey! I'm WALKING HERE!

This might be my favourite picture of the whole trip.

You can see my entire group of pictures here at Flickr or here at Facebook you can see my favourite.

Have you been to Cuba? Want to come next time?

Spiral twist stitch beret

Sometimes I get to make things up. It's not often, but I love when I have an idea and it can come to fruition.  A few weeks ago, a friend was pinning red berets and talking about how much she'd like one. I offered to get right on that! And I did.

Here it is completed (from the back).

Here is a side view.  I love how it is slightly slouchy but not too much.

The top view is my favourite. This pic is the closest to the right colour of what I have.

Finally, a pattern!

Materials
I used KnitPicks CotLin yarn in DK Weight with the Pomegranate colour. (I fell in love with this colour.)
Needles: 4mm circular needle or DPNs 

Instructions

Cast on 8 stitches
You can do this in magic loop version for a circular needle or regularly for DPNs if you prefer - cast on options here 
Place marker at the beginning

Increases

Row 1 - k1 m1 all around (16)
Row 2 - knit all around
Row 3 - k2 m1 to end (24)
Row 4 (Introducing left twist) - leaving 1st stitch on left needle, ktbl of 2nd stitch, k 1st stitch and slip both stitches off the left needle, k1, repeat left twist and k1 to end
Row 5 - k2 m1 k1 - repeat to end (32)
Row 6 - left twist, k2 to end
Row 7 - k2 m1 k2 (40)
Row 8 - left twist, k3 to end
Row 9 - k2 m1 k3 (48)
Row 10 - left twist, k4 to end
Row 11 - k2 m1 k4 (56)
Row 12 - left twist, k5 to end

Continue in this manner until there are 20 stitches in each section (160) ending with an even row.
Once increases are complete, you can decide how slouchy you want your hat. For not very slouchy, go immediately to the decrease section. For slouchier repeat the last even row (left twist, k18) for another inch.

Decreases
Row 1 - k2tg k18 repeat to end (152)
Row 2 - left twist, k18 to end
Row 3 - k2tg k17 repeat to end (144)
Row 4 - left twist, k17 to end
Row 5 - k2tg k16 repeat to end (136)
Row 6 - left twist, k16 to end
Row 7 - k2tg k15 repeat to end (128)
Row 8 - left twist, k15 to end
Row 9 - k2tg k14 repeat to end (120)
Row 10 - left twist, k14 to end

Continue in this manner until you reach 88 stitches

Hat band
Rows 1-10 - k2 p2 repeat to end
Bind off in a stretchy stitch. I prefer the Zimmerman method of sewn bind off.

Voila, you have a hat.

Thankful Thursday: Cuba version

I'm not back yet, but I know what I am going to be thankful for, so I will write this now and schedule it for while I'm gone.  Try not to be jealous.

1. It is not snowing in Cuba.





My beach



2. There are free drinks and no one judges my 10 am Pina Colada. It has pineapple, so it is a breakfast drink.
3. Time alone with The Guy maxin' and relaxin' by the ocean.
4. The pelicans and the guy who feeds them every morning.





Every morning, they walk up the beach following the guy who feeds them.

5. Limited risk of being glutened. WOO for no wheat in Cuba!!

I'll be home soon. 

Traffic Responses: Guest post by Wynn Anne

I am enjoying myself in Cuba, but didn't want to leave you all alone. I know how it is. So, I invited my good friend Wynn Anne from Wynn Anne's Meanderings to come and do a guest post. I'm thrilled because she said yes. Enjoy and then pop over to her blog to read about her 11 month old 55lb puppy, Kane. He's gorgeous.  Without further ado, here is Wynn Anne.
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The lovely Wynn Anne

The other evening, I was stopped at an intersection because, although the light was green, there was not enough space behind the car ahead of me to ensure that I would clear the intersection before the light turned red.

I HATE blocking intersections. I've been known to honk at people who do so.

Well, today, while I was thus stopped, I got honked at by the car behind me. Just as he honked, the cars ahead of me started moving, so I moved.

But at the same time, I was all:

Seriously. Cool. Down.

And it struck me that, when I honk at other drivers, I intend for them to hear this:

And then, after recognizing the truth in that, I expect them to say this:

Thank you.

But, on reflection, they're probably thinking:

So I probably just need to:

I'm going to try to keep this in mind next time I encounter a stupid driver.

---

Wynn Anne posts regularly over at Wynn Anne's Meanderings. Sometimes, she's funny on purpose. You can also find her on Facebook.

Still taste the dolphin poop: Post from the past

I am in Cuba all week. Here is a story about my very first trip. Originally posted on Feb 5, 2008.
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I have never learned to swim. Never. Nothing more than a "from A to B" and only if I can touch the bottom at some time during the distance.

I am not afraid of water. I am afraid of drowning. But unlike many people, I can be in water and enjoy it. As long as it never goes above my chest. If I can touch the bottom and the water laps just above my breasts, I can contain myself and enjoy the crispness of the water, the way it slides and moves independantly. I can float and relax and let worries glide away from me as the water breathes.

It is when I cannot touch the bottom that the panic sets in. Instantaneously it grips me and causes me to see my life flashing before my eyes. My breath comes in shallow gasps because the water presses so heavily I cannot expand my lungs. The water, rising higher than my chest, acts like a vice and restricts my body from drawing breath of any sort. My heart rate increases to alarming rates and my heart beat fills my ears and drowns out all other noises. I flail and search for anything I can hold on to. My mouth fills with water and my sinuses burn. I choke and gasp and flail and fear I will not make it another second.

And then my foot connects with solid ground and I can slowly bring my breathing back to normal. I can focus and once again be alright with the water around me. But I never forget the panic.

So, imagine my surprise when I was in Cuba on excursion and was given the chance to swim with the dolphins. Normally, I am quite against it - fear of water or not. Dolphins are too intelligent a creature to cage and make perform. They are lovely and majestic and brilliant. But there I was. In the middle of the ocean. At a dolphin area built monsterously huge for the mammals to swim in. And I was given the chance to meet them.

The Guy knew I didn't swim, but I am not sure if he understood the extent of it. He agreed to hold on to me the entire time so I wouldn't be afraid. There were many others there with training and confidence, so it would all be good. And I agreed to go in.

I climbed down the metal rungs that led into the ocean. And after the last one, I knew I could not touch the ground. And panic set in. The Guy hurried into the water to assist me. I could hardly breathe, but I held on tightly to him and kicked with all my might to keep up afloat. I met the dolphins. I felt their cool, smooth and soft skin and patted their warm bellies. I was enamoured. Another traveller spelled The Guy off for a bit so he could rest up and resume his tight grip on my waist to keep both the panic and the drowning at bay.

In the end, I was as brave as I could be. And when I crawled out of the water, I cried.

Equal terror and joy

Thankful Thursday: Babies, friends, and bras

Today, we will go to celebrate the life of my friend, K.B.  It's a bittersweet week of tears and family and love.

1. Monty and Lil E are getting to be good friends. I finally got a picture of her enjoying his tail.

   

   Lil E and the magic tail

2. I bought two new super bras with my Christmas money. The one I am wearing now is named Olga. Isn't that the greatest name for a bra line? It just sounds like your boobs will not even consider being unruly.
3. I have gotten closer to K.B.'s high school friend Wynn Anne who has become a good friend for me. I am thankful for all the friends K.B. brought into my life.
4. My brother, his wife, and my sister are here for the funeral. It may be a sad reason, but I'm so glad to see them. 
5. The Guy has been a huge support for me this week. He makes all the sucky things better.

Puppies and babies: A walk in the snow

My two favourite creatures are my dog, Monty, and my cousin's little girl, Elizabug. Despite the fact they will be living in close quarters once our house is complete (E's family plan to live in our basement apartment), she and Monty haven't spent much time together.

This weekend we decided to introduce them and take them both on a walk to see how they do.

They started out inside. E was thrilled to see a puppy in her apartment. She was fascinated with his puffy tail that moved faster and faster in her presence. Monty was thrilled that E was holding cheese. I didn't get pictures of this - I was too concerned with making sure no one bit anyone (I'm looking at you, Lil E.)

Then we went outside.

A girl and her ice block

Lil E was all cozy in her snowsuit and strapped into her favourite mode of transportation.  Her dad gave her a block of ice as she likes to be able to touch the snow around her. I looked back a few times to see her shoving her face into the snow. She was happy as could be.

Monty bounced around the snow - running ahead to sniff things and running back to check and make sure E was still following.  At one point we tried to get him to chase a flock of grouse, but there was no shovelled path, so he was having none of that.

Grouse vs dog

We walked down along the river and across the crescents towards our new house. We figured it would be a perfect time to show them the place (even though the basement is still just rocks and plumbing supplies) while there were no workers on site.

bridge in the snow

All in all, it was a good day.

Monty enjoying himself

No words for goodbye

Last night, sometime close to midnight, my friend KB died. She was 51 years old and had been married to the love of her life for 6 months. She leaves behind two of the greatest kids who are too young to be without a mom and two great step-kids who just got to know her.

That smile

She was my friend.

We met because our dogs decided to be best friends. Dezi (my dog) and Lexi (KB's dog) tore down the fence between my parent's house and KB's house so they could play. I knew Lexi for many months before I met KB. But Lexi introduced us.

One day while playing fetch with the dogs, Lexi jumped up and ate the necklace right off my neck. It was the one my mother gave me when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so it was pretty important to me. KB answered the door wearing only a towel. We spent the next week bonding while sifting poop for signs of silver.  We were fast friends from that point on.

Dog poop mining will do that.

KB had a rough go of things in life, but never failed to be the happiest, most positive person I'd ever met. Her mother had died when she was young. Her brother had followed suit shortly after with Lukemia. KB got married and then separated with two small children - a toddler and a new baby. She raised them single handedly for nearly 20 years.

KB did what only KB could do - she enjoyed every moment of life knowing how short it could be. She was careful with money because she had to be, but she gave everything she could for her children. She spent time with them, she laughed with them, she was their friend and their parent and their champion. She didn't care if the house was clean as long as she was with her kids.

She made use of every second.

KB was the strangest woman I have ever met. She was weird and eccentric and never apologized for it once. She liked what she liked, she was what she was, and she let it be known. KB gave me the courage to be ridiculous and nerdy and to admit to having dreams that weren't sensible.

KB was an archivist in her day job, but her passions were baking and writing.  She encouraged me to write and we spent hours talking about plots and characters and our plans to be famous authors. We planned to write a piece of our novels every Friday until they were done.

She baked bread every Saturday for years and sold it so she would have enough money to make it through the month. She was amazing at it and was everyone's go to baker for every occasion.  She even made my wedding cake (one of the most gorgeous things ever) but the stress of it was too much for her and she refused to do it again until her own wedding.

After over a decade of being single, KB met the love of her life. She knew instantly he was the one for her. Fate took a little while for them to get together, but they did and it has been amazing to watch. After years of being alone, she had found her other half. Her centre. She was never so happy as the time she spent with Chris. She beamed and the joy was contagious. A year and a half of the KB who was always meant to be.

Her happiest day
photo via Wynn Anne 

Yesterday, KB went into the hospital for extreme stomach pain. After hours of tests, they found nothing useful. A CT scan was needed. It was all very routine. She was injected with an iodine solution and things went badly. It appeared to be an allergic reaction that shut down her organs.

Within a few hours, a woman who had more life than anyone I know was gone.

And we are left.

I will miss you, KB. You were sunshine in the rain -- even when the cloud was right over your head. You have been my friend, my cheering squad, my sounding board, my prayer partner. You gave everyone everything at anytime they needed it and I am honoured you came into my life.

Thankful on Thursday

Last week, I decided I was going to be thankful on a more regular basis. I needed to remember there are good things that always will out shadow the bad if you let them shine bright enough.

Okay, that line was pathetic, but you know what I mean.  Now, on to the grateful things.

1. While I was out the other day, The Guy booked us a spur-of-the-moment trip to Cuba. We love Cuba. We especially love Cuba when it is -55C (windchill included.) I think the cold weather caused The Guy to lose his mind and I'm totally okay with that. Beach, bar, books, HERE I COME!!!!





Bay of Pigs where I learned to snorkel

Side note: if you know The Guy, you will be highly amused at the thought of him doing anything spur of the moment. I know I was!!

2.  Grandma had her 94th birthday and was stunned that people kept calling to say Happy Birthday. She had no idea why people would remember to call her. She's adorable. My uncle sent me a picture of her and her birthday cake, but Aunt Deanna is mid-sentance so I don't want to post it.
   
   Instead, I will post a hilarious picture of Grandma where she looks like she's lost her damn mind. It amuses me greatly.

She would kill me if she knew I posted this.
WORTH IT!!

3. It has been a balmy -23C (-10F) for the last two days causing all Saskatchewanians to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the winter. Monty and I have been for 2 walks in 2 days and it's been wonderful. There are only two exceptions to this wonderfulness.

First, I am still recovering from my cold/flu of death so the cold air made me cough so hard I peed myself. I'm a grown-up.

Second, Monty has gone from "I'm so bored I'm never moving again. I might as well sleep because we are NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN" to "I'm so bored. We need to play. Let's go outside now.  How about now? Now? NOW!!!!!!!!!"   He makes me want to kill him.





Monty longing for outdoors.

I walked you, you twit. Now have a nap.

4. The Guy is a wonderful man and doesn't like to hurt my feelings. I made chocolate chip cookies tonight. Normally, I rock this recipe. It's so good, people line up for my cookies. This batch? Not so good. When I asked him about them, he said "They weren't your best, but I will eat them with ice cream." I tried them and nearly retched. They were VILE. So, I threw them out and will try again tomorrow. I just love that he was willing to eat the most disgusting food just because I made it for him.

That is the entire story of our relationship.


5. I started the Year of Writing class online. So far I have met a great deal of interesting people, read some of their writing, and written 17 of the 20 ideas that was this week's assignment. It's tough, but I am really excited to be doing it.

Master bedroom: Inspiration Board

I didn't sleep well the other night. Why, you might ask? I was busy planning my master bedroom for a house that doesn't have heat yet. We went and met our contractor on Saturday and it got my planning mind going again. I love planning. It makes me happy and keeps me from remembering I have a crappy ass bathtub and no dishwasher. Also, it's like shopping but without spending the money.

I'm a bit of a nerd.

I thought I would share with you what I have planned so far. Here's the room layout planned so far.  The room is 12x12. We wanted it relatively small because the rest of the space is the bathroom and walk in closet! You know.... the important stuff.

via my fave room planner

Mainly I've picked a wall colour and everything else is already decided. But colour is very important!

Colour: Bedford blue

I wanted a blue. I love blue bedrooms. I went through 100 different blues, narrowed it down to 4, and then made The Guy pick two of his favourites. It's the only way we can agree on anything. I pick a bunch I like and he picks what he can live with.

It's hard to decorate when both spouses think the other has terrible taste. In all things except spouses, of course.

My inspiration for the blue is due to two pictures we have that I want to decorate around. One is a beautiful painting by Wilf Perreault a Regina artist who was friends with my mother. I inherited it when Mom died (read: I took it and my siblings can suck it!) and I love having it in my bedroom.

Here it is in our last master bedroom over The Guy's grandpa's rocking chair. It was my favourite corner.

I loved the blue in this room, but wanted something a little more cornflower than grey this time.

I wish I could show you the furniture we bought, but it's currently in storage. That will be for the big reveal, I guess. It's a king sized sleigh bed in a dark brown with a matching dresser and two side tables. I love it. Can I find it on the internet at all so I can show you? No. Of course not.

My plan is for the room to be calming, inviting, and a good balance of masculine and feminine.  The baseboards and things will be white (like in the above picture) and the floor is a gorgeous laminate The Guy bought from Costco on sale. It is also in storage. Someday I will get pictures of that too.

My favourite find of the day is the rug. I love this rug. Next is to convince The Guy!

via Ikea

OOOH, and here's the light fixture!

via Home Depot

So, now I've got the furniture, the colour, the drapes (The Guy bought those already too), the lighting, and the plan... I'm pretty excited. Now just to have the house finished.

My word for the year: Change

I could not have been happier to see 2013 finish. It was a challenging year of "learning" patience,  dealing with disappointment, and facing overwhelming difficulties. There were a lot of positive things too, but I felt completely paralyzed by the difficult things I had a hard time seeing the good.

When 2014 headed our way, I started to feel like something was coming. The first few days showed me exactly what it would be: change.  Two days in and things were already different -- and in a good way. Suddenly, the things that pressed me to the ground were feeling less heavy and more manageable.

I made a decision. This change would not be an isolated incident. It would carry over into everything. Life would be different and possible and exhilarating. 2014 would be the year where change is possible.

Changes in career:

• I've been contracted to do an agency assessment in my chosen field. I'd done a few things like this about 10 years ago and felt I wanted to branch out that way again. I'm excited and nervous and hopeful. I get to travel to 5 different communities and meet a ton of new people and I cannot wait.
• There have been two big changes in my office which will have very positive effects.  There are still many areas of concern, but this is a step in the right direction.

Changes in personal growth:

• I signed up for a writing course. It's year long and online and I could not be more excited. I'm looking forward to learning more about writing -- be it essays, reports, blog posts, fiction -- I cannot wait to get better at it all.
• My wonderful husband, The Guy, gave me a 3 month pass to a yoga studio. I've enjoyed Yoga since I tried it via the Wii, but I wanted to go further and learn more. I'm thrilled. 

Changes in home:

• Our new house will be ready in the spring. We are starting to make plans for paint colours, kitchen cupboards, lighting, etc. I'm excited to do the planning, but will be more excited to get in, get organized, and get settled.

There will be more changes. I am determined to grow and adapt and learn. And, I cannot wait.

Keep warm giveaway!

I live in a ridiculous province. It is currently -33 degrees Celsius with a windchill that makes it feel like -55. If you're using Fahrenheit as a scale, I believe it is similar. If you're using my temp gauge outside my house, you can't actually get that low. Apparently, whoever built it did not think Saskatchewan existed.

But, alas, it does.

And, because it does, I'm going to help you keep warmer. Well, your coffee anyway.



Since my last giveaway was such a success, I thought I would do it again! Enter below and you might be the lucky winner of this coffee cozy. As a added bonus, there is an additional prize as well. If you look in the sidebar >> over there at the top >> and sign up for I MayB emails, you will be entered into a separate prize altogether!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday Five: Thankful things this week

In order to be more aware of the things I'm thankful for, I'm doing a weekly round up. I figure it's important to remain cognizant of the good things around me.

1. After 10 days of the flu/cold of death, I am starting to be on the mend.
2. I've made a good progress through Doctor Who. I'm well in to season 3 and I'm pretty thrilled.
3. Today gave me 2 pieces of good news on the work front. It won't fix all the problems, but it's a start.
4. My husband went to one of our favourite restaurants and got me the soup I've been craving for weeks because I've been sick and they don't deliver.
5. I finished the laundry. Some of it still isn't put away, but it's done.

Tiny changes: Accessible transformation

I talked about my 5 imaginary lives and 20 things I like to do as I work towards improving my creativity and finding my balance again.

It is fitting I choose to complete the task about tiny changes during the week of New Years. This week is often met with lists and grandiose plans meant to transform us into the types of human beings we want to be.

And then we fail at them. Those are the types of human beings we ARE.



At least I am.

So, when I looked at this challenge, I decided this was something I could do. Not huge changes I would head towards with good intentions, great gusto, and short attention span, but small changes I could make every day.

It is the small changes in thought and action that make us better people.

1. Smile at one stranger a day
2. Walk the dog an extra block
3. Hug my husband
4. Go to church on my Sunday's off
5. Take more good photos with my good camera, less with my iPhone
6. Drink one more glass of water, one less pop
7. Talk to my family daily
8. List things I'm thankful for on a daily basis
9. Wash bed sheets weekly
10. Do more nice things for no reason

In all reality, I will likely watch more Netflix, eat more junk food, and nap more, but I still do want to try to be a better person. 

That's the whole point.