No words for goodbye

Last night, sometime close to midnight, my friend KB died. She was 51 years old and had been married to the love of her life for 6 months. She leaves behind two of the greatest kids who are too young to be without a mom and two great step-kids who just got to know her.

That smile

She was my friend.

We met because our dogs decided to be best friends. Dezi (my dog) and Lexi (KB's dog) tore down the fence between my parent's house and KB's house so they could play. I knew Lexi for many months before I met KB. But Lexi introduced us.

One day while playing fetch with the dogs, Lexi jumped up and ate the necklace right off my neck. It was the one my mother gave me when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so it was pretty important to me. KB answered the door wearing only a towel. We spent the next week bonding while sifting poop for signs of silver.  We were fast friends from that point on.

Dog poop mining will do that.

KB had a rough go of things in life, but never failed to be the happiest, most positive person I'd ever met. Her mother had died when she was young. Her brother had followed suit shortly after with Lukemia. KB got married and then separated with two small children - a toddler and a new baby. She raised them single handedly for nearly 20 years.

KB did what only KB could do - she enjoyed every moment of life knowing how short it could be. She was careful with money because she had to be, but she gave everything she could for her children. She spent time with them, she laughed with them, she was their friend and their parent and their champion. She didn't care if the house was clean as long as she was with her kids.

She made use of every second.

KB was the strangest woman I have ever met. She was weird and eccentric and never apologized for it once. She liked what she liked, she was what she was, and she let it be known. KB gave me the courage to be ridiculous and nerdy and to admit to having dreams that weren't sensible.

KB was an archivist in her day job, but her passions were baking and writing.  She encouraged me to write and we spent hours talking about plots and characters and our plans to be famous authors. We planned to write a piece of our novels every Friday until they were done.

She baked bread every Saturday for years and sold it so she would have enough money to make it through the month. She was amazing at it and was everyone's go to baker for every occasion.  She even made my wedding cake (one of the most gorgeous things ever) but the stress of it was too much for her and she refused to do it again until her own wedding.

After over a decade of being single, KB met the love of her life. She knew instantly he was the one for her. Fate took a little while for them to get together, but they did and it has been amazing to watch. After years of being alone, she had found her other half. Her centre. She was never so happy as the time she spent with Chris. She beamed and the joy was contagious. A year and a half of the KB who was always meant to be.

Her happiest day
photo via Wynn Anne 

Yesterday, KB went into the hospital for extreme stomach pain. After hours of tests, they found nothing useful. A CT scan was needed. It was all very routine. She was injected with an iodine solution and things went badly. It appeared to be an allergic reaction that shut down her organs.

Within a few hours, a woman who had more life than anyone I know was gone.

And we are left.

I will miss you, KB. You were sunshine in the rain -- even when the cloud was right over your head. You have been my friend, my cheering squad, my sounding board, my prayer partner. You gave everyone everything at anytime they needed it and I am honoured you came into my life.

Thankful on Thursday

Last week, I decided I was going to be thankful on a more regular basis. I needed to remember there are good things that always will out shadow the bad if you let them shine bright enough.

Okay, that line was pathetic, but you know what I mean.  Now, on to the grateful things.

1. While I was out the other day, The Guy booked us a spur-of-the-moment trip to Cuba. We love Cuba. We especially love Cuba when it is -55C (windchill included.) I think the cold weather caused The Guy to lose his mind and I'm totally okay with that. Beach, bar, books, HERE I COME!!!!





Bay of Pigs where I learned to snorkel

Side note: if you know The Guy, you will be highly amused at the thought of him doing anything spur of the moment. I know I was!!

2.  Grandma had her 94th birthday and was stunned that people kept calling to say Happy Birthday. She had no idea why people would remember to call her. She's adorable. My uncle sent me a picture of her and her birthday cake, but Aunt Deanna is mid-sentance so I don't want to post it.
   
   Instead, I will post a hilarious picture of Grandma where she looks like she's lost her damn mind. It amuses me greatly.

She would kill me if she knew I posted this.
WORTH IT!!

3. It has been a balmy -23C (-10F) for the last two days causing all Saskatchewanians to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the winter. Monty and I have been for 2 walks in 2 days and it's been wonderful. There are only two exceptions to this wonderfulness.

First, I am still recovering from my cold/flu of death so the cold air made me cough so hard I peed myself. I'm a grown-up.

Second, Monty has gone from "I'm so bored I'm never moving again. I might as well sleep because we are NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN" to "I'm so bored. We need to play. Let's go outside now.  How about now? Now? NOW!!!!!!!!!"   He makes me want to kill him.





Monty longing for outdoors.

I walked you, you twit. Now have a nap.

4. The Guy is a wonderful man and doesn't like to hurt my feelings. I made chocolate chip cookies tonight. Normally, I rock this recipe. It's so good, people line up for my cookies. This batch? Not so good. When I asked him about them, he said "They weren't your best, but I will eat them with ice cream." I tried them and nearly retched. They were VILE. So, I threw them out and will try again tomorrow. I just love that he was willing to eat the most disgusting food just because I made it for him.

That is the entire story of our relationship.


5. I started the Year of Writing class online. So far I have met a great deal of interesting people, read some of their writing, and written 17 of the 20 ideas that was this week's assignment. It's tough, but I am really excited to be doing it.

Master bedroom: Inspiration Board

I didn't sleep well the other night. Why, you might ask? I was busy planning my master bedroom for a house that doesn't have heat yet. We went and met our contractor on Saturday and it got my planning mind going again. I love planning. It makes me happy and keeps me from remembering I have a crappy ass bathtub and no dishwasher. Also, it's like shopping but without spending the money.

I'm a bit of a nerd.

I thought I would share with you what I have planned so far. Here's the room layout planned so far.  The room is 12x12. We wanted it relatively small because the rest of the space is the bathroom and walk in closet! You know.... the important stuff.

via my fave room planner

Mainly I've picked a wall colour and everything else is already decided. But colour is very important!

Colour: Bedford blue

I wanted a blue. I love blue bedrooms. I went through 100 different blues, narrowed it down to 4, and then made The Guy pick two of his favourites. It's the only way we can agree on anything. I pick a bunch I like and he picks what he can live with.

It's hard to decorate when both spouses think the other has terrible taste. In all things except spouses, of course.

My inspiration for the blue is due to two pictures we have that I want to decorate around. One is a beautiful painting by Wilf Perreault a Regina artist who was friends with my mother. I inherited it when Mom died (read: I took it and my siblings can suck it!) and I love having it in my bedroom.

Here it is in our last master bedroom over The Guy's grandpa's rocking chair. It was my favourite corner.

I loved the blue in this room, but wanted something a little more cornflower than grey this time.

I wish I could show you the furniture we bought, but it's currently in storage. That will be for the big reveal, I guess. It's a king sized sleigh bed in a dark brown with a matching dresser and two side tables. I love it. Can I find it on the internet at all so I can show you? No. Of course not.

My plan is for the room to be calming, inviting, and a good balance of masculine and feminine.  The baseboards and things will be white (like in the above picture) and the floor is a gorgeous laminate The Guy bought from Costco on sale. It is also in storage. Someday I will get pictures of that too.

My favourite find of the day is the rug. I love this rug. Next is to convince The Guy!

via Ikea

OOOH, and here's the light fixture!

via Home Depot

So, now I've got the furniture, the colour, the drapes (The Guy bought those already too), the lighting, and the plan... I'm pretty excited. Now just to have the house finished.

My word for the year: Change

I could not have been happier to see 2013 finish. It was a challenging year of "learning" patience,  dealing with disappointment, and facing overwhelming difficulties. There were a lot of positive things too, but I felt completely paralyzed by the difficult things I had a hard time seeing the good.

When 2014 headed our way, I started to feel like something was coming. The first few days showed me exactly what it would be: change.  Two days in and things were already different -- and in a good way. Suddenly, the things that pressed me to the ground were feeling less heavy and more manageable.

I made a decision. This change would not be an isolated incident. It would carry over into everything. Life would be different and possible and exhilarating. 2014 would be the year where change is possible.

Changes in career:

• I've been contracted to do an agency assessment in my chosen field. I'd done a few things like this about 10 years ago and felt I wanted to branch out that way again. I'm excited and nervous and hopeful. I get to travel to 5 different communities and meet a ton of new people and I cannot wait.
• There have been two big changes in my office which will have very positive effects.  There are still many areas of concern, but this is a step in the right direction.

Changes in personal growth:

• I signed up for a writing course. It's year long and online and I could not be more excited. I'm looking forward to learning more about writing -- be it essays, reports, blog posts, fiction -- I cannot wait to get better at it all.
• My wonderful husband, The Guy, gave me a 3 month pass to a yoga studio. I've enjoyed Yoga since I tried it via the Wii, but I wanted to go further and learn more. I'm thrilled. 

Changes in home:

• Our new house will be ready in the spring. We are starting to make plans for paint colours, kitchen cupboards, lighting, etc. I'm excited to do the planning, but will be more excited to get in, get organized, and get settled.

There will be more changes. I am determined to grow and adapt and learn. And, I cannot wait.

Keep warm giveaway!

I live in a ridiculous province. It is currently -33 degrees Celsius with a windchill that makes it feel like -55. If you're using Fahrenheit as a scale, I believe it is similar. If you're using my temp gauge outside my house, you can't actually get that low. Apparently, whoever built it did not think Saskatchewan existed.

But, alas, it does.

And, because it does, I'm going to help you keep warmer. Well, your coffee anyway.



Since my last giveaway was such a success, I thought I would do it again! Enter below and you might be the lucky winner of this coffee cozy. As a added bonus, there is an additional prize as well. If you look in the sidebar >> over there at the top >> and sign up for I MayB emails, you will be entered into a separate prize altogether!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday Five: Thankful things this week

In order to be more aware of the things I'm thankful for, I'm doing a weekly round up. I figure it's important to remain cognizant of the good things around me.

1. After 10 days of the flu/cold of death, I am starting to be on the mend.
2. I've made a good progress through Doctor Who. I'm well in to season 3 and I'm pretty thrilled.
3. Today gave me 2 pieces of good news on the work front. It won't fix all the problems, but it's a start.
4. My husband went to one of our favourite restaurants and got me the soup I've been craving for weeks because I've been sick and they don't deliver.
5. I finished the laundry. Some of it still isn't put away, but it's done.

Tiny changes: Accessible transformation

I talked about my 5 imaginary lives and 20 things I like to do as I work towards improving my creativity and finding my balance again.

It is fitting I choose to complete the task about tiny changes during the week of New Years. This week is often met with lists and grandiose plans meant to transform us into the types of human beings we want to be.

And then we fail at them. Those are the types of human beings we ARE.



At least I am.

So, when I looked at this challenge, I decided this was something I could do. Not huge changes I would head towards with good intentions, great gusto, and short attention span, but small changes I could make every day.

It is the small changes in thought and action that make us better people.

1. Smile at one stranger a day
2. Walk the dog an extra block
3. Hug my husband
4. Go to church on my Sunday's off
5. Take more good photos with my good camera, less with my iPhone
6. Drink one more glass of water, one less pop
7. Talk to my family daily
8. List things I'm thankful for on a daily basis
9. Wash bed sheets weekly
10. Do more nice things for no reason

In all reality, I will likely watch more Netflix, eat more junk food, and nap more, but I still do want to try to be a better person. 

That's the whole point.